The Simpsons (TV Series)
Blame It on Lisa (2002)
Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson
Quotes
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Marge Simpson : It's awfully expensive to fly to Brazil.
Lisa Simpson : Not if we buy our tickets on the internet. It's really cheap if we change planes in Phoenix, Honolulu, Sun City, and East St. Louis, spend the night in a haunted house, and leave right now.
Homer Simpson : Then it's settled. The Simpsons are going to Brazil.
Bart Simpson : And I'll have been on every continent.
Lisa Simpson : Except Antarctica.
Homer Simpson : The Simpsons are going to Antarctica.
[brief pause]
Homer Simpson : Next year. This year, Brazil.
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Lisa Simpson : Why must you fight with every utility?
Homer Simpson : I told you. I have too much time on my hands.
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Ronaldo : I tried to write, but I didn't know what state you lived in.
Lisa Simpson : It's a bit of a mystery, yes, but if you look at the clues, you can figure it out.
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Marge Simpson : What a charming neighborhood.
Lisa Simpson : Mom, these are slums. The government just painted them bright colors so the tourists wouldn't be offended.
Marge Simpson : Works for me.
Bart Simpson : Yeah, check out the rats.
Homer Simpson : [seeing colored rats scurrying by] Ooh, they look like Skittles.
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Lisa Simpson : Okay, here are some travel tips. Only drink bottled water, don't get into an unlicensed taxi, and remember, they have winter during our summer.
Homer : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So in August, it's cold?
Lisa Simpson : That's right.
Homer : And in February, it's hot?
Lisa Simpson : Mm-hmm.
Homer : So it's opposite land! Crooks chase cops, cats have puppies...
Lisa Simpson : No, dad, it's just the weather.
Homer : So hot snow falls up?
Lisa Simpson : [sighing] Yes.
Homer : Whoo-hoo!
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Homer Simpson : Look, Marge, I'm Brazilian.
[trying to kick his suitcase like a soccer ball, it falls on the floor and the contents spill out]
Lisa Simpson : [picking up a book] "How to Loot Brazil"?
Homer Simpson : [quickly taking it back] I got it! I got it! I got it!
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Lisa Simpson : [arriving in Brazil and seeing Christ the Redeemer] Look, it's the giant statue of Christ on Corcovado.
Homer Simpson : Wow. It's like he's on the dashboard of the entire country.
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Lisa Simpson : Excuse me. We're looking for this little boy.
Nun : Ah, yes, Ronaldo. He went out months ago and we haven't heard from him since. Every day, we light a candle for him.
Bart Simpson : Have you tried looking for him?
Nun : That's plan B.
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Homer Simpson : [after getting electrocuted on a telephone pole] How did I get here?
Bart Simpson : We found you smoldering in the bushes.
Marge Simpson : That's it. We're just going to have to pay for that call to Brazil.
Lisa Simpson : [guiltily] What call to Brazil?
Homer Simpson : The one I didn't make, and Marge didn't make, and Bart didn't make, and hence no one in the house made.
Lisa Simpson : Uh-oh.
Marge Simpson : You made that call? But you're the good one.
Homer Simpson : Yeah, the one we both like.
Marge Simpson : Why did you do it?
Lisa Simpson : Please don't be mad. I've been sponsoring an orphan boy in Brazil.
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Lisa Simpson : Ronaldo used to send me a letter every month, but then they stopped. That's why I called the orphanage. But they said he'd disappeared.
Marge Simpson : How come you talked for $400?
Lisa Simpson : Well, then they started pressuring me for more donations. And you can't hang up on a nun.
Marge Simpson : That's right. They have powers.
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Homer Simpson : Oh, that poor little boy. We've got to find him. How many people live in Brazil?
Lisa Simpson : 156 million.
Homer Simpson : [nervously] Ooh...
Bart Simpson : Well, we've got to find him.
[the family stares]
Bart Simpson : What? I'm really concerned.
[they continue to stare]
Bart Simpson : [resigned] Fine. I want to meet monkeys.
