- Bart: [praying to God] Well, old timer, I guess this is the end of the road. I know I haven't always been a good kid, but if I have to go to school tomorrow, I'll fail the test and be held back. I just need one more day to study, Lord. I need your help.
- Lisa: Prayer: the last refuge of a scoundrel.
- [spying on Bart from his bedroom entrance]
- Mrs. Krabappel: Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term. Are you aware of that?
- Bart: Yes, ma'am.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Are you aware there is a major exam coming up tomorrow on Colonial America?
- Bart: Yes, ma'am.
- [as he starts to glaze, all he hears is:]
- Mrs. Krabappel: Blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah?
- Bart: Yes, ma'am.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah!
- Bart: Yes, ma'am.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Bart! You haven't been paying attention to a word I've said, have you?
- Bart: Yes, ma'am.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Well, then what did I say?
- Bart: Uh..."straighten up and fly right?"
- Mrs. Krabappel: [spluttering] Well, that was a lucky guess!
- Otto Mann: Hey, realax man. It could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. I got held back in the fourth grade myself - twice! Look at me, man - now I drive the school bus!
- Martin Prince: As a natural enemy, I don't know why I should care, but the information pertaining to America's colonial period that you just received is erroneous.
- Bart: So you're saying...
- Martin Prince: A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test than you do.
- Bart: Oh. Thanks for the pep talk.
- [Martin asks why he should help Bart improve his study habits]
- Bart: 'cause I can make it so the other kids don't laugh at you so much.
- Martin Prince: They... laugh at me? I'd always considered myself rather popular.
- Bart: You're not. Watch.
- [He shoves Martin to the ground. Milhouse, Louis and Richard, standing nearby, burst out laughing]
- Martin Prince: [gets up] Then my... my speed with numbers... my years of service as a hall monitor... my prize-winning dioramas... These things mean nothing to them?
- Bart: Perhaps another demonstration?
- [He shoves Martin to the ground again, making the others burst out laughing again]