The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart Gets an F (1990)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bart : [praying to God]  Well, old timer, I guess this is the end of the road. I know I haven't always been a good kid, but if I have to go to school tomorrow, I'll fail the test and be held back. I just need one more day to study, Lord. I need your help.

  Lisa : Prayer: the last refuge of a scoundrel.

  [spying on Bart from his bedroom entrance] 

• [last lines] 

  Homer : We're proud of you, boy.

  Bart : Thanks, Dad. A part of this D-minus belongs to God.

• Bart : As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!

  Homer : And if you don't, at least you'll still be bigger than the other kids.

• Mrs. Krabappel : Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of the term. Are you aware of that?

  Bart : Yes, ma'am.

  Mrs. Krabappel : Are you aware there is a major exam coming up tomorrow on Colonial America?

  Bart : Yes, ma'am.

  [as he starts to glaze, all he hears is:] 

  Mrs. Krabappel : Blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah?

  Bart : Yes, ma'am.

  Mrs. Krabappel : Blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah!

  Bart : Yes, ma'am.

  Mrs. Krabappel : Bart! You haven't been paying attention to a word I've said, have you?

  Bart : Yes, ma'am.

  Mrs. Krabappel : Well, then what did I say?

  Bart : Uh..."straighten up and fly right?"

  Mrs. Krabappel : [spluttering]  Well, that was a lucky guess!

• Martin Prince : As a natural enemy, I don't know why I should care, but the information pertaining to America's colonial period that you just received is erroneous.

  Bart : So you're saying...

  Martin Prince : A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test than you do.

  Bart : Oh. Thanks for the pep talk.

• [Martin asks why he should help Bart improve his study habits] 

  Bart : 'cause I can make it so the other kids don't laugh at you so much.

  Martin Prince : They... laugh at me? I'd always considered myself rather popular.

  Bart : You're not. Watch.

  [He shoves Martin to the ground. Milhouse, Louis and Richard, standing nearby, burst out laughing] 

  Martin Prince : [gets up]  Then my... my speed with numbers... my years of service as a hall monitor... my prize-winning dioramas... These things mean nothing to them?

  Bart : Perhaps another demonstration?

  [He shoves Martin to the ground again, making the others burst out laughing again] 

• Bart : A little Ketchup for your buns, papa?

• Lisa : Everyone knows you're faking it, Bart.

  Bart : Well, everyone better keep their mouth shut.

• Bart : I passed, I passed, I passed, I... ..kissed the teacher!... .UGH!