- Kyle: Wow, that's a lot of semen Cartman.
- Eric Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
- Stan: That's cool.
- Eric Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is; the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose.
- Cartman: It's alright, Chef! We got our sea people out of the teacher's stomach.and we put them back in their aquarium!
- Kyle Broflovski: Face it, guys. We killed Miss Choksondik. We're all in this together.
- [Tweak starts to whine in protest]
- Kyle Broflovski: All right, maybe you weren't there, but you're our new friend and that makes you culp - uh, culpable.
- Cartman: In fact it makes you the most responsible. Tweak, you might have to take the fall on this one.
- Stan Marsh: [Explaining their situation to Chef] We killed our teacher and they found our sea men in her stomach!
- Chef: Oh, children, that's a problem we all have to face at one time or another. Here, let me sing you a little song that might cheer you up.
- Chef: [singing]
- Chef: Sometimes you kill your teacher, and they find your semen in her stomach, and...
- Chef: [stops singing]
- Chef: Wait! What the - WHAT?
- Cartman: I got ripped off.
- Kyle: I told you Cartman.
- Cartman: Oh, shut up. Kyle. Shut your god damn Jew mouth. You people are why there is war in the Middle East.
- Cartman: And you Tweak. Why don't you button up your shirt for once. You're just as bad as Stan with his little girlfriend always wanting to spend time with him.
- Cartman: Oh God, I hate you guys.
- Dougie: Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it! SIMPSONS DID IT!