The Simpsons (TV Series)

Treehouse of Horror II (1991)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Kearney, Others

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Homer awakens with a scream] 

  Marge Simpson : Did you have a nightmare, Homey?

  Homer Simpson : No, Bart bit me!

  Bart Simpson : Hey man, you were crushing me! I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.

• [Bart and Lisa come back from trick-or-treating; Bart is dressed as an executioner, Lisa as a large totem pole] 

  Bart Simpson : Would have gotten even more if Lisa could walk faster!

  Lisa Simpson : I didn't select this costume for mobility. I wore it to salute the noble Native Americans of the Pacific Northwest...

  [Barts pokes her. She tips over with a yell] 

  Bart Simpson : Ha-ha-ha!

• [Homer answers the door to Jimbo and Kearney] 

  Jimbo , Kearney : Trick-or-treat, man!

  Homer Simpson : Hey, aren't you a little old for this? You're not even wearing costumes!

  Kearney : Hand over the candy, old dude, or we egg your house back to the Stone Age!

  [Jimbo opens a carton. Homer tips the whole bowl into Kearney's sack] 

  Homer Simpson : Here you go, kids. Heh-heh...

  [closes the door] 

  Homer Simpson : Lousy punks...

  [He heads back to the living room, then comes the sound of eggs hitting the door] 

  Homer Simpson : D'OH!

• Homer Simpson : [Mr. Burns performs a lobotomy on Homer without anesthesia]  Ow. Ow! Ow!

  Mr. Burns : Oh, will you quit your complaining!

  Smithers : Si, do you know what this means? He is alive!

  Smithers : Oh, you're right, Smithers. I guess I owe you a Coke. And as for you, you clinking, clattering cacophany of colligenous cog and camshifts, take that! Agh!

  [Mr. Burns kicks the robot, which tips and looms over him] 

  Smithers : Run Sir!

  [the robot lands on Mr. Burns, crushing him save for his head] 

  Mr. Burns : Every bone shattered... organs leaking vital fluids... a slight headache... loss of appetite... Smithers, I'm going to die.

  Smithers : Sir, is there nothing I can do?

  Mr. Burns : Well, perhaps. Smithers, go to to my office. In the third drawer of my desk I... surgical tools and some either.

  Homer Simpson : Aaaaaaaah!

  [Homer wakes up] 

  Marge Simpson : Did you have a nightmare, Homie?

  Homer Simpson : No, Bart bit me.

  Bart Simpson : Hey, man, you were crushing me. I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.

  Homer Simpson : Eh, I gotta go shake the doo-whoop-a-dilly. Aaaaaaaah!

  [goes to the bathroom, then he sees Mr. Burns' head grafted onto him in the mirror] 

  Mr. Burns : Perhaps you're wondering why you have two heads. Well my body was crushed, so I had my head grafted onto your, shall we say, ample frame.

  Homer Simpson : [hyperventilating]  I didn't wake up! It's all a dream! It's just a dream!

  Mr. Burns : Oh that's right! It's all a dream! Or is it?

  [laughs evilly] 

• Dr. Marvin Monroe : You like attention, don't you Bart?

  Bart Simpson : Do I ever!

  Dr. Marvin Monroe : The problem is you don't care whether it's good attention for something like getting high marks in school or bad attention for something like say, turning your father into a Jack-in-the-Box. Homer I see you agree with my theory.

  Homer Simpson : I'm not nodding, it's the air conditioning.

• Bart Simpson : great now were slaves this paw sucks.