The Simpsons (TV Series)
We're on the Road to D'ohwhere (2006)
Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum
Photos
Quotes
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Homer Simpson : Hey, guys, I have to put the boy on a plane to soul-crushing camp, then I'll be back to go to Vegas.
Bart Simpson : Dad, if you take me to Vegas, I'll teach you how to cheat at blackjack.
Homer Simpson : Boy, you don't need to cheat when you got a system.
Bart Simpson : What's your system?
Homer Simpson : [whispering] I don't tell your mother how much I've lost.
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Bart Simpson : Dad, neither of us wanna go, why are you doing this? Where's the old care-free Homer who likes to cut loose?
Homer Simpson : You mean "Fun Homer"? I'm afraid Serious Homer has him locked up till you're at your snooty torture camp.
Bart Simpson : [yelling into Homer's ear] Fight back Fun Homer, together we can win!
Homer Simpson : It's no use.
[shows inside Homer's head]
Fun Homer : Aw, come on, Serious Homer, lemme out. We can get a monkey drunk and push him down the stairs.
Serious Homer : I'll kill you the way I killed Intellectual Homer!
[camera pans to a dead body of Intellectual Homer in a pile of blood that spells out "Ontogeny recapitulates Phylogeny"]
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Bart Simpson : Come on, Dad, we got a long way to go, you can't stay mad at me the whole time.
Homer Simpson : Boy, if were half as smart as you think you are, you'd clean up your act.
Bart Simpson : Well, maybe pulling pranks is the only thing I'm good at.
Homer Simpson : Well, at least you have something you're good at. I'm 38 years old driving a crappy car with a son who doesn't respect me and I'm one snickers pie away from losing my foot to diabetes. Mmmm, snickers pie.
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Homer Simpson : [Homer is on the verge of falling off from the cliff] Boy! Push down on the bumper, then I can back the car up and save myself!
Bart Simpson : Hmm... If I save you, what are you gonna do to me?
Homer Simpson : Shower you with love, because this experience has taught me just how precious you are.
[Bart pushes the car down]
Homer Simpson : I'LL KILL YOU! I'll kill your whole family!
[Bart moves the car up]
Homer Simpson : Kidding, I'm kidding! We can't do that. We have a special friendship.
[car goes down]
Homer Simpson : I'M GONNA DOUBLE KILL YOU! Then I'm gonna bury you in a shallow grave, then I'll dig you up and kill you again! That's the beauty of a shallow grave!
[car goes up]
Homer Simpson : You sweet, little angel. Oh, I'm gonna
[car goes down]
Homer Simpson : rip your head off and spit down
[car goes up]
Homer Simpson : you adorable, little neck,
[car goes down]
Homer Simpson : because I wanna SMASH YOUR LITTLE, STUPID HEAD!
[car goes up]
Homer Simpson : Oh, but I love you; we'll go on a fishing trip.
[car goes down]
Homer Simpson : But first, I'm gonna put you in a saw mill then punch your little face out! That's what I'm gonna do!