Randy: It's not fun being blind. Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
Randy: Do you think when I find my purpose I'll get some sort of sign? Like a glowing light? Not like an alien abduction or anything, but a Jesus light?
[Randy is temporarily blind]
Earl: Sorry, Randy, but I've got my own problems to worry about! After dinner I'm gonna have to help you use the bathroom - literally!
Randy: You don't have to hold anything, you just need to help me to the seat, I'll go like a girl.