Futurama (TV Series)

The Day the Earth Stood Stupid (2001)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Ken

Quotes 

• Fry : [writing]  "Leela cried for her love as Fry lay dead under the heavy book case. The giant brain laughed in triumph. 'Ha ha ha!' Then, for no reason, he left Earth forever. The end." There. Now he's trapped in a book I wrote. A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors.

  Chief Giant Brain : The big brain am winning again! I am the greetest! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Now I am leaving Earth for no raisin!

• [everyone on Earth except Fry is moronically stupid] 

  Fry : What are we going to do?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.

  Amy Wong : No, let's buy internet stock.

  Dr. Zoidberg : On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.

  Hermes Conrad : [holding a board in front of his face]  Look at me. I'm invisible.

  Fry : Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.

  Bender : Hey, let's all join the Reform party.

  Everyone : Yeah.

• Chief Giant Brain : What do you want?

  Fry : I'm here to kick your ass!

  Chief Giant Brain : Wishful thinking. We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses.

• [Nibblonians explain the Giant Brains] 

  Ken : They travel from world to world making everyone stupid in order to wipe out all thought in the universe.

  Leela : Wipe out all thought? My God, they're like flying televisions.

• Hermes Conrad : This is mighty strange. First the civilization of Space Rome collapsed, then Don Martin 3 went kerflooie, and now Tweenis 12.

  Fry : Looks like this planet is next in line.

  Leela : That's Earth.

  [Fry just stares at her] 

  Leela : The planet we live on?

  Fry : I'd hate to be those guys.

• Fry : Come on, Fry, think. Thinking... thinking...

  Chief Giant Brain : Oh, Stop that!

  Fry : Hey, thinking hurts them! Maybe I can think of a way to use that.

  Chief Giant Brain : Argh!

  Fry : Aha! Prepare to be thought at! Leela, give me a topic.

  Leela : Duh...

  Fry : Seriously, I can't think of anything.

  [He looks through a pile of books] 

  Fry : I gotta find something to make me think. Hardy Boys... too easy. Nancy Drew... too hard. Ah, perfect. Bonfire of the Vanities.

  [reads] 

  Chief Giant Brain : No! It's unbearable!

• Leela : You fight biggest brain of all.

  Fry : Even bigger than those? Holy nuts! Where would it be?

  Leela : I dunno.

  Fry : Let's see, a giant brain is basically a giant nerd. Where would a nerd go?

  [gasp] 

  Fry : The library!

• Leela : I... have to tell... must... important... something...

  Fry : Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. You're going a mile a minute.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Zooka Barooka! First prize is $500 and a lifetime supply of dog food.

  Bender : $500, you say?

  Dr. Zoidberg : Dog food, you say?

• Fry : Bender, if this is a scam, I don't get it. You already have my power of attorney.

• Bender : Second place? That's a fancy word for losing.

  [whips Zoidberg] 

  Bender : You didn't stick your landing!

  Dr. Zoidberg : Forgive me, my friend?

  Bender : Never!

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Good news, everyone. We were supposed to deliver a package to the planet Tweenis 12, but it's been completely destroyed.

  Leela : Why is that good news?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : They paid in advance.

• Fry : Hey, Brainley! Think fast!

  [throws bucket of whitewash at Brain] 

  Chief Giant Brain : I always think fast.

  [is hit by bucket and covered in whitewash] 

  Chief Giant Brain : Ow!

  Captain Ahab : The whale! He be white now!

• Ken : Welcome back, Lord Nibbler, Ambassador to Earth, homeworld of the pizza bagel.

  Nibbler : Thank you. I bear many receipts for reimbursement.

• Fry : All right, time to reeducate you duncebags. We'll start with U.S Presidents. This is our first president, George Washington.

  [Holds the head of George Washington; The others look confused] 

  Fry : Let's review. Who was our first president?

  Bender : A pickle jar?

  George Washington's Head : Thomas Jefferson?

• Fry : Attention New New Yorkers: stop acting so stupid!

• Leela : Brain... Brain make people dumb!

  Fry : No, Leela. Brain make people smart.

• Fry : [reading to harm the Chief Giant Brain]  Take that, and that! This sentence I don't understand... but take this one!

• Leela : [hands Fry a note]  This. You for this.

  Fry : Thanks.

  [blows nose on note, then throws it in fireplace] 

  Leela : No!

  [reaches into fire] 

  Leela : Ow! Fire hot!

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : The professy will help.

  [reaches into fire] 

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Ahh! Fire indeed hot!

• Fry : Doctor Zoidberg, why is everyone acting so weird?

  Dr. Zoidberg : Zoidbie want balloon! Want balloon now! Zoidbie want go outside!

  Fry : But I just let you in!

• Fry : Boy, that dog is hard to beat. Look at him bring those sheep. One sheep, two sheep...

  [yawns] 

  Fry : ... three sheep...

  [falls asleep] 

• [inside "Pride and Prejudice"] 

  Elizabeth Bennet : Mister Fry, they tell me you're quite the oddity, a bachelor at your age.

  Fry : You think I'm an oddity, you should see...

  Butler : Announcing the arrival of the richest landowner in all Hampshire, Lord Brainley.

  Chief Giant Brain : I'm a gigantic brain!