Futurama (TV Series)

Mars University (1999)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Leo Wong, Gearshift, 20th Century History Teacher

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Gunther the Monkey runs away] 

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Oh, I always feared he would run off like this. Why? WHY? WHY didn't I break his legs?

• Fry : Hey, professor. What are you teaching this semester?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Same thing I teach every semester. The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it.

  Fry : Mathematics of wonton burrito meals. I'll be there!

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Please, Fry. I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor.

• Fry : Wow. The jungles on Mars look like the jungles on Earth.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Jungles? On Earth? Hahahahaha.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : It's a little experiment that might win me the Nobel Prize.

  Leela : In which field?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : I don't care - they all pay the same.

• Fry : Very impressive. Back in the Twentieth Century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Well, in those days Mars was a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland, much like Utah. But unlike Utah, Mars was eventually made liveable when the university was founded in 2636.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : I arranged that you be roommates for a reason: so I would only have to remember one phone number.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : But what about your superintelligence?

  Gunther the Monkey : When I had that there was too much pressure to use it. All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to Business School.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

• Leela : You went to college?

  Bender : Of course. I'm a bender. I went to Bending College; I majored in Bending.

  Fry : What was your minor?

  Bender : Robo-American Studies.

• Fry : [upon seeing his dorm room for the first time]  Hey, pretty nice for a single. Two desks, two chairs, a couple of beds.

  [there is a knock at the door] 

  Fry : A woodpecker.

• Leela : So he just ran off in the middle of class?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : I'm afraid so. All he handed in was a paper smeared with feces. He tied with Fry.

• 20th Century History Teacher : Be forewarned. The only way to get a sure A in this class is to have actually lived in the 20th Century.

  Fry : Swish!

  [Teacher pushes a button; Fry gets shocked] 

  20th Century History Teacher : Anything else to add, Mr. Fry?

  Fry : I'm from the 20th Century. Go ahead, ask me anything.

  20th Century History Teacher : Very well. What device invented in the 20th Century allowed people to view broadcast programs in their own homes?

  Fry : Ooh! I know this... whatcha call it?... Lite Brite!

  [Fry is shocked again] 

• Leela : What you did to poor Gunther was cruel. At the risk of sounding like an after-school special, I think we learned who the real animal is.

  Fry : You mean peer pressure?

• Gearshift : No, Bender, wait. We're the lamest frat on campus. Even Hillel has better parties than us. Please, you've gotta stay and teach us how to be cool.

  Bender : Hmmm... okay, but I'll need ten kegs of beer, a continuous tape of "Louie, Louie," and a regulation two-story panty-raid ladder.

• Fry : Good ol' Coney Island College. Go WhiteFish.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Put on the hat, Guenter! You're the only one who can save us!

  [Hubert, Leela and Fry are close to fall down a huge waterfall] 

  Guenter : [Puts banana on his head and starts chewing the hat] 

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : [muttering]  Stupid monkey.

  Leela : Not there!

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : [shouting]  Keep trying!

  Guenter : [Tries the hat on his buttocks] 

  Fry : [Giggling] 

  Guenter : [wearing the hat]  Eureka! The hat goes on the head! It's all so obvious now!

  Leela : Help us, Guenter!

  Guenter : My goodness! Hang on! I need to do some calculations!

• [Fry reveals he told Gunther the Monkey to run away] 

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : What? After I spent MONTHS slaving over a hot monkey brain?