The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart the Genius (1990)

Harry Shearer: Principal Seymour Skinner, Dr. J. Loren Pryor, Mr. Prince

Photos 

Quotes 

• Principal Seymour Skinner : You there, no chewing gum on school grounds! In the trash can with it.

  Martin Prince : Principal Skinner, one of my fellow children is vandalizing school property.

  Principal Seymour Skinner : Oh, where?

  Martin Prince : Over there sir. See!

  Milhouse van Houten : Look out Bart! Here comes Skinner!

  Bart : Yikes!

• Dr. J. Loren Pryor : Now, Bart, we want to emphasize that nobody's angry about this. We're... we're just concerned. When a young man with a 216 IQ can't make a simple experiment work, well, it doesn't take a Bart Simpson to figure out that something's wrong. Tell me, is the class moving too slowly for you?

  Bart : Lord, no.

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : Well, then, what can we do to make you happy?

  Bart : I wanna go back to my old class.

  Bart : Oh, but, Bart, don't you remember the boredom, the ennui, the intellectual malaise?

  Bart : Yeah, well, you know, kinda, um, but I was thinking I could go undercover.

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : Undercover? Bart, I'm intrigued. Go on.

  Bart : Well, I could pretend I'm a regular, dumb kid. You know, to study them and all the stuff they do with each other. You know, see what makes 'em tick.

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : I see. Like Jane Goodall and the chimps.

  Bart : Yeah.

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : Uh-huh. This is most impressive, Bart. You write up your proposal while I talk to Principal Skinner.

  Bart : Proposal?

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : You know, outline your project, what you hope to achieve, what you'll require to do it.

  Bart : Gotcha, man.

  [taking a pencil and paper as Dr. Pryor leaves] 

  Bart : "'My proposal' by Bart Simpson'. I want to pretend I am a regular, dumb kid. Period. By this, I hope..." Oh, no. "For this, I will..." Ohh... "Require..." Ohh... Oh, man.

  [starting over] 

  Bart : "'My confession', by Bart Simpson.' I *am* a regular, dumb kid. Period. I cheated on my intelligence test. Period."

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : [coming back some time later]  Ah, finished already? Principal Skinner will be very interested to see...

  [giving the proposal a glance] 

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : Oh. You know, you misspelled "confession."

• Dr. J. Loren Pryor : When a child with Bart's intellect is forced to slow down to the pace of a normal person, he's probably going to lash out in ways like these.

  [he indicates Skinner's file of Bart's troublemaking] 

  Principal Seymour Skinner : I think we should re-test him.

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : No, no. I think we should move him to another school.

  Principal Seymour Skinner : Ooh. Better yet.

• Homer : Doc, this is all too much. I mean, my son a genius? How does it happen?

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : Well, genius-level intelligence is usually the result of heredity and environment. Although, in some cases, it's a total mystery.

• Dr. J. Loren Pryor : This aptitude test we administered this morning has revealed that the young Bart here is what we call a "gifted child."

  Homer : A what?

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : Your son is a genius, Mr. Simpson.

  Marge : Bart?

  Homer : This lunkhead?

  Principal Seymour Skinner : Impossible.

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : No, no, we're quite certain. The child is not supposed to know his own IQ, of course, but, uh, you can see it's beyond the range of any doubt.

  Homer : 912!

  Dr. J. Loren Pryor : Uh, no. You have it upside down. It's 216.

• Principal Seymour Skinner : [learning one of his students is vandalizing school property]  Whoever did this is in very deep trouble.

  Martin Prince : And a sloppy speller, too. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is W-I-E-N-E-R, although "e-i" is an acceptable ethnic variant.

• Marge : Hello again, Principal Skinner.

  Homer : What have you done this time, boy?

  Principal Seymour Skinner : I caught your son defacing school property this morning. We estimate the damage at $75, and frankly, we think it's terribly unfair that other taxpayers should foot the bill.

  Homer : Yeah, it's a crummy system, but what are you gonna do?

  [Marge whispers in his ear] 

  Homer : Oh, no. He can't mean that. My wife thinks you want me to pay for it.

  Principal Seymour Skinner : That was the idea.

  Homer : Oh.

  Principal Seymour Skinner : By itself, something like this might not call for an extreme penalty, but this is not an isolated incident.

  [opening a file cabinet with Bart's name on it] 

  Principal Seymour Skinner : Bart's behavior is... unruly. He's frequently absent from school, then gives teachers pathetic excuse notes that are obviously childish forgeries compared to...

  [taking a check from Homer, he sees the handwriting is identical]