Thirtysomething (TV Series)

First Day/Last Day (1989)

Ken Olin: Michael Steadman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Amos Borden : It's simple enough.

  Michael Steadman : Well, Mr. Borden, it's not the work. It's... I mean, if I do this, then it changes everything. It throws everything off. It ruins the speech. You see, it...

  Amos Borden : Michael, it's a commercial, not a soliloquy. Make the changes.

  Michael Steadman : You're knuckling under the client.

  Amos Borden : That's correct.

  Michael Steadman : You know, Mr. Borden, I don't know if I can do this. This is...

  Amos Borden : You can.

  Michael Steadman : Well, I'm not gonna do it.

  Amos Borden : Do what?

  Michael Steadman : The changes are stupid, okay? They make the agency look bad. They make me look bad, and I refuse to do it.

  Amos Borden : You know, taking an artistic stand on a quarter-page newspaper ad and jeopardizing your job to do it doesn't seem like a terribly smart move, does it? Now, save your quixotic impulses for your fiction. Do the job you're paid to do.

• Michael Steadman : [after being ordered to make changes he doesn't agree with to a client's advertisement]  It's all so, so...

  Elliot Weston : Crass? Commercial?

  Michael Steadman : Ordinary. I don't want to do ordinary. That's not how I see myself. That's not how I see my life. I mean, they hire us, and then they won't let us do what we really know how to do.

  Elliot Weston : It's their candy store, Mike.

  Michael Steadman : Well, I'm getting a little sick of the candy store.

  Elliot Weston : Oh, not me. I love using my God-given talents to sell custom slip covers.

  Michael Steadman : Oh, God. Why can't we make money doing what we want to do?

  Elliot Weston : And what is it you want to do, Mike?

  Michael Steadman : I want to write.

  Elliot Weston : Yeah? So, write. What's stopping you?

  Michael Steadman : Oh, what if it turns out to be...

  Elliot Weston : Ordinary?

  Michael Steadman : Yeah.

  Elliot Weston : Yeah, welcome to the seventh circle of hell. You'll like it here, Mike. We even get cable.

• Hope Murdoch Steadman : I thought we understood that with you not working, you'd be more available for Janey.

  Michael Steadman : But I am working. Looking for work counts as work. It may even be harder than actually working because it's so humiliating.

• Michael Steadman : Why didn't you just tell me?

  Elliot Weston : We always took out officer loans, and then at the end of the year, Accountant Freddie would wave his magic tax chart and turn them into bonuses. It was no problem.

  Michael Steadman : Except this year, there's no end of year. You knew that.

  Elliot Weston : Yeah, but I didn't know that when I took the loan. When I took the loan, we were up to our great expectations in Motherland Yogurt and 2% Milk.

  Michael Steadman : Well, we're stuck in something else right now, Elliot. You knew that when we talked to Accountant Fred. That's $5,000 we have to account for. $5,000, Elliot. Why didn't you just tell me? That way, we could deal with it.

  Elliot Weston : Look, I... I was... I was scared. I knew about it. I knew it was a problem. I just... I was afraid.

  Michael Steadman : Afraid of who, Elliot? Scared of what?

  Elliot Weston : Of this... of this fight we're having right now. I don't wanna have any more fights, Mike. I'm over my quota. Look, when I took the loan, we were sailing, right? And-And-And I thought it was a chance to get, you know, like, a real apartment, and, Mike, I was trying to date, and that's, like, a hundred bucks a pop even if you hate her guts.

• Michael Steadman : You're married?

  Elliot Weston : Yeah.

  Michael Steadman : Really?

  Elliot Weston : Yeah.

  Michael Steadman : Huh.

  Elliot Weston : Why?

  Michael Steadman : No, I'm just a little surprised to hear you're married, that's all.

  Elliot Weston : What are you talking about? Why?

  Michael Steadman : Well, you seem kind of, uh... kind of, uh...

  Elliot Weston : Easy now. Choose your adjective with care.

  Michael Steadman : Bohemian?

• Michael Steadman : So, did Virginia Woolf look this good when she was writing? Huh?

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : [kissing]  Hello, husband.

  Michael Steadman : Hello, wife. Ah, Hope, I swear to God, that part of the ceremony, "for richer, for poorer", honest, I thought it was just boilerplate.