Xena: Warrior Princess (TV Series)

Takes One to Know One (1999)

Lucy Lawless: Xena

Photos 

Quotes 

• Discord : So, you're saying that your *horse* killed her?

  Xena : In self-defense!

  Discord : But I can't take back a horse! I don't *do* animals!

  Minya : That's not what I heard!

  [all laugh] 

  Discord : UGH! This job sucks!

  [she disappears] 

• Discord : [Irritated because Xena has not yet solved the murder]  Look, Xena, I'm tired of being jerked around!

  Xena : [with a straight face]  You gave me 'till sunrise to jerk you around!

  Discord : I lied!

  [Discord uses her powers to make the clock become lower with sand. She laughs] 

  Discord : Time flies when I'm having fun!

• Xena : Autolycus. I wouldn't have picked you for a party boy...

  Autolycus : Well, call me sentimental, but, uh, I hear the words, "cake and ice cream" and I'm there!

  [he chuckles] 

• Discord : [Xena kicks open the door to Ravenica's room. The key in the lock falls out. Xena moves to Ravenica and turns her over. Ravenica has a dagger in her chest. A man in leather shorts attacks Xena. She kicks him and is about to punch his face. Discord sits up on the bed]  NO! STOP! Not the face!

  Xena : You're right. I should start at the bottom!

  Discord : [Xena moves to kick him, but Discord sends her flying back with a bolt from her hands. Xena stands]  Try that again, you'll be booking a cruise to Tartarus with your friend here, Xena! Oh, sure, I know who you are. All Olympus knows the Warrior Princess. Ares has made sure of that. He's also made me, Goddess of Retribution. Discord's the name!

  Xena : Retribution, huh?

  [pause] 

  Xena : Guess you gotta start somewhere!

  Discord : Where I'll start is with the person who did this. Hand him over!

  Xena : [shrugs to the guy she first found]  He's all yours.

  Discord : Very funny, but it just so happens he was... otherwise engaged.

  [pause] 

  Discord : So, cut the comedy.

  Xena : You think *I* did it?

  Discord : I wish. But unfortunately, I saw enough to know it wasn't you...

  Xena : The only other people here are my family and friends.

  [pause] 

  Xena : You're saying one of them is the murderer?

  Discord : No, you're telling me. After all, it takes one to know one, right? And somebody did kill her.

  Xena : Clearly, but...

  Discord : No "but"s! You either cough up the killer by sunrise, or I take one of your buddies! Your choice. But either way, someone's gonna pay!

• Discord : Thanks for the help, tall, dark and... mortal.

  [pause] 

  Discord : I should have known Xena wouldn't have the guts to turn in her own mom.

  [Discord raises a bow and pulls back the arrow, pointing it at Cyrene. Xena frantically uses her chakram to stop the arrow as it fires at her mother. She looks up at Discord] 

  Discord : What's the big idea? I thought you were the poster girl for truth and justice.

  Xena : I am, when I'm sure it's being served. And I'm not.

  [pause] 

  Xena : Come on, Discord, ya gave me 'til sunrise, remember?

  Discord : FINE! Play your little detective games, but time is running out!