Xena: Warrior Princess (TV Series) Chariots of War (1995) User Reviews

The plot overall is very A to B: bad guys picking on the good guys, and Xena helps out

[reb-warrior · 7/10 · 9 November 2014]

Xena is injured trying to save a pacifist community from a warlord attack. She is taken in by a widower with three small children. I didn't like him. He wanted to turn Xena into a domestic pacifist little miss and dress her up in his dead wife's clothes. Ugh, go away.

The best parts of this episode were Gabrielle's humorous interactions with the warlord's son who is not so bad, all the fight scenes, and a great chariot race with some humor. Kudos to Lucy Lawless who gave an impressive pained scream as the arrow from her injury is removed. I like that the Warlord's son, who never wanted to follow in his father's footsteps in the first place, turns toward a good path thanks to Xena and Gabrielle's help.

The plot overall is very A to B: bad guys picking on the good guys, and Xena helps out.

Still early days...

[Joxerlives · 6/10 · 25 April 2021]

The Good; Love the Gabby/Xena intertwining tree talk. Double arrow catching (impossible according to Mythbusters but they didn't try it with a demi-goddess). The arrow removal scene truly makes you wince. More fast thinking Gabby in the tavern and she rides Argo for the first time. Some great chariot stunts, the stuntwomen really earning their pay.

The Bad; lots of continuity problems with the armour, one moment Xena is wearing her shoulder pads and the next they're gone. You just know the little girl will end up speaking at the end, don't you?

Best lines; Xena "Take more than an arrow to get rid of me" (wait until A Friend in Need).

Gabby; "If I die I'll never speak to you again!" (Wanna bet?)

Xena; "Remind me to talk to you about your taste in men" (Look who's talking!)

Xena cliches; village threatened by warlord plus Xena nastily wounded The pinch; 1 Village threatened by warlord; 2 Xena wounded; 1

Calling Captain Subtext;?

Twisted history; ?

Bodycount; one kill for Xena Xena; 1

Notes; nothing really too remarkable about all of this, perhaps notable for having Xena and Gabby separated for most of its' running time and I think we like seeing them together more.

6/10.

The Battling Bard - Domesticity and Daddy Issues

[bennetts-16344 · 8/10 · 17 March 2019]

This is a great episode but I agree with one of the other reviews on here that this is a strange episode to air after the pilot. The two protagonists have little screen time together while Gabrielle is already referring to Xena as her best friend. They've either bonded very quickly or Gabby wore out everyone's patience in Potidaea a long time ago.

The pair split up early on. Xena is then wounded by Darius, son of a warlord called Cycnus, due to her inability to catch three arrows simultaneously. She is then nursed back to health by a nice but ultimately dull widower with three small children sporting Battlestar Galactica hair cuts.

Meanwhile Gabby meets Darius, the angst ridden son at a bar by sitting on his lap and kissing him, which as we know, is pretty much route one as far as picking up men goes.

Darius, brilliantly played by Nick Kobotakis, could just as easily be bemoaning that coach won't let him play football because he's flunking math than agonising whether he should be slaughtering a town's worth of villagers.

Meanwhile, the widower is trying to make Xena dress up in his dead wife's clothes which isn't weird at all. Xena attends a town meeting knowing that it's a trap but resolved in the knowledge she is the decongestant required for their Cycnus problem.

All hell breaks loose, Xena gets the blame for not letting everyone be passively slaughtered whist Cycnus remonstrates with Darius that he will never be a killer like his brother. Darius, still channelling his inner Mark Hamill tells Dad that Xena is just passing through this land (probably on her way to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters) and there's no reason to kill her.

Cycnus works Darius up into a lethargic rage by telling him that Xena was responsible for the death of his brother, Xena and Gabby meet up again and it all culminates in a chariot fight. Cycnus dies, Darius is repentant, the widower makes his move to make the warrior princess a domestic goddess, Xena cures the daughter of mutism (although we never find out whether she relapses when Xena snubs her) and our heroes walk off into the sunset with the satisfaction of a job well done.

Quote: Xena: Don't tell me that's him? Gabrielle: 'fraid so Xena: Remind me to talk to you about your taste in men...

Memorable scene:' The chat up scene. "That's very insightful" says Darius to Gabrielle who hasn't the slightest clue what's going on. "it's a gift" she replies.

Salute to Xena - A 25th Anniversary Review

[skullface2020 · 8/10 · 28 February 2020]

Xena finds that becoming a warrior for good can be a full time job. Gabrielle continues to make positive connections with people, and discovers that she can more or less handle herself in a dicey situation.

SYNOPSIS

While traveling ahead of Gabrielle, Xena encounters a small peaceful hamlet that is under attack by a local gang of pillagers working for an evil warlord. Even though she is able to fight the attackers off, she is wounded and must stay in a family's hut as she recovers. While Xena is calm and collected as an arrow is painfully removed from her torso, it's the required bedrest that really bothers her. While waiting for Xena's return in the previous village, Gabrielle strikes up a friendly though short report with a young man at the local tavern.

The evil warlord is peeved that his son failed to annihilate the village and is inn general unlike his eldest son who was a brutal warrior before falling in battle. He commands his son fake a council of peace with the village and then ambush all the innocent civilians. Xena gets along with her widower host and his kids, and she agrees to attend this supposed peace counsel with them and their neighbors. Fortunately, Xena notices the ambush and fights off the warlord's men! The warlord's son wanted to show mercy on the villagers, but his father later tells them it was Xena who killed his brother by shooting him in the back. Now the father-son duo are out for blood!

Xena rides back to find Gabrielle, and then on their way together they spot the warlords chariots on the move. In an epic chase scene, Xena neutralizes the accompanying chariot and crashes the chariot carrying the warlord and his son. As combat ensues, Xena realizes she lost her chakram, but the peace loving widower rides into the scene with it just in time. Of course Xena kills the evil warlord. Gabrielle has noted that the son is the young man she like in the tavern in the previous village, and with her help he accepts a life of peacemaking just as his late brother did.

NOTES

Xena never thought about having a family again, but her time recovering with the peace loving widower and his children has brought her to realize that she might seek that one day down the road. Gabrielle is not especially interested in riding a horse, and she definitely doesn't like riding a chariot.

Enter: Darius

Daddy Darius

[injury-65447 · 9/10 · 13 July 2020]

I have to give this episode a high score simply because Nick Kokotakis is so gorgeous! I can't believe Xena would turn this sexy Greek God daddy down.

The plot might be formulaic and basic, but it's still a fun episode. We get to see Xena admiring herself in a peasant dress.

"I'm not very good at this horse thing!"

[bensonmum2 · 5/10 · 4 January 2018]

Xena is injured trying to defend a group of non-violent farmers. She's nursed back to health by Darius and his family. The local warlord says he wants peace, but Xena smells a trap. She's allowed to attend the peace meeting, but only if she leaves her weapons behind. As she suspected, the meeting is a hoax and she's forced to fight empty-handed. But the local warlord's son really does want peace. He must defy his ruthless father's wishes, though, if he is to be successful.

What an odd second episode. Xena and Gabrielle have just formed a friendship / partnership when Xena leaves her behind. You'd have thought the people behind the show would have used this episode to cement their bond. Weird. Being left on her on, Gabrielle gets up to all sort of hijinks in a local tavern - most of it is just plain annoying. It's like they weren't sure what to do with Gabrielle in these initial episodes. The fight scenes here are better than the first episode, but still a long way from what you see later in the series. The quick relationship between Darius and Xena is actually nice. There's some real chemistry at work. Very nice. The final showdown, complete with chariot chase, is the episode's highlight. There's some excellent camerawork on display. Overall, however, despite what I've written, I rate this one a very average 5/10. As I've indicated, it has its moments and I might have rated it higher, but the overall plot here is fairly routine.

Chariots of War... SKIP IT!

[Guy148939 · 3/10 · 28 April 2019]

There's an irritating trend in some of the episodes of the show of introducing a male character/s for one or both of the leads to pine over or for in wondering "Oh what we could have?" but aside from introducing Xena's surgical skills, and referencing the conflict in Troy this episode is pretty bare in terms of reasons to watch.

Chariots of War

[Prismark10 · 4/10 · 15 May 2018]

There is some nice stunt work in this episode, with some good action scenes mixed with corny humour.

Chariot mounted thugs pillage a village. Xena gets injured by an arrow defending the pacifist farmers of the village and is taken care off by a widowed farmer Darius who likes her to be domesticated. The bloodthirsty warlord claims he wants peace but does he really mean it?

Gabrielle interacts with the Warlord's sensitive son who really does want peace with the farmers so it is up to Xena and Gabrielle to help him defy his bellicose father.

The plot is rather mundane.