The X-Files (TV Series)
Je Souhaite (2000)
David Duchovny: Fox Mulder
Photos
Quotes
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Mulder : I can't believe you don't want butter on your popcorn. Uggh. It's un-American.
Dana Scully : "Caddyshack," Mulder?
Mulder : It's a classic American movie.
Dana Scully : That's what every guy says. It's a guy movie.
Mulder : Okay, when you invite me over to your place we can watch "Steel Magnolias."
Dana Scully : So, um... What's the occasion?
Mulder : I don't know. Just felt like the thing to do. Cheers.
Dana Scully : Cheers.
Mulder : I don't know if you noticed but, um, I never made the world a happier place.
Dana Scully : Well, I'm fairly happy. That's something. So what was your final wish, anyway?
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Jenn : The only thing you people are cursed with is stupidity. All of you. Everybody. Mankind. Everyone I have ever come into contact with without fail. Always asking for the wrong thing.
Mulder : You mean making the wrong wishes.
Jenn : Yeah, it's always: "Give me money." "Give me big boobs." "Give me a big hoo-hoo." "Make me cool like the Fonz" or whoever's the big name now.
Mulder : You been out of circulation a long time.
Jenn : So what? In 500 years, people have not changed a bit.
Dana Scully : 500 years.
Jenn : Granted, they smell better now generally speaking, but human greed still reigns... shallowness... a propensity for self-destruction.
Dana Scully : You're saying that you have been a firsthand witness to 500 years of human history.
Jenn : I used to be human. I was born in 15th-century France, and then, one day, an old Moor came to my village peddling rugs, and I unrolled one that an Ifrit had taken residence in.
Dana Scully : An "Ifrit."
Jenn : A very... powerful class of jinni. He offered me three wishes. For the first I asked for a stouthearted mule. For the second, a magic sack that was always full of turnips... Did I mention this was 15th-century France?
Mulder : What was your third wish?
Jenn : My third... I pondered for a great while. I didn't want to waste it. So, finally, feeling very intelligent I spoke up and I said "Je souhaite un grand pouvoir et une longue vie." "I wish for great power and long life."
Mulder : And thus became a jinni yourself.
Jenn : Gave me the mark of the jinn... right there. It's forever. Sort of like a prison tattoo.
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Mulder : Then there is the interesting way in which Mr. Flanken died.
Dana Scully : How's that?
Mulder : Chronic morbid tumescence.
Dana Scully : You don't mean what I think you mean?
Mulder : Schwing! On April 4, 1978, he was admitted to Gateway Memorial Hospital with an extreme priapic condition. Apparently, he was quite the specimen. They had to raise the doorframe in order to wheel him into his hospital room.
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Mulder : There was a woman here earlier, where is she?
Leslie Stokes : She's gone.
Mulder : I'll tell you where I'm going with this. I think that woman is a jinniyah. Are you familiar with that term?
Leslie Stokes : No.
Mulder : It's the feminine for jinni, as in a demon or spirit from Middle Eastern folklore.
[Leslie still doesn't know what he's talking about. Mulder gets an idea. He starts humming the I Dream Of Jeannie theme and Leslie tags along]
Mulder : Yeah, except Barbara Eden never killed anybody.
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Mulder : The trick is to be specific, to make the wish perfect. That way, everyone is gonna benefit. It's gonna be a safer world, a happier world, there's gonna be food for everyone, freedom for everyone, the end of the tyranny of the powerful over the weak. Am I leaving anything out?
Dana Scully : It sounds wonderful.
Mulder : Then what's the problem?
Dana Scully : Maybe it's the whole point of our lives here, Mulder, to achieve that. And maybe it's a process that one man shouldn't try and circumvent with a single wish.
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Mulder : You say that most people make the wrong wishes, right?
Jenn : Without fail. It's like giving a chimpanzee a revolver.
Mulder : This is because they make their wishes solely for personal gain.
Jenn : Could be.
Mulder : So the trick would be to make a wish that's totally altruistic, that's for everyone. So, um, I wish for peace on Earth.
Jenn : Peace on Earth? That's it
Mulder : What the hell's wrong with that? You can't do it?
Jenn : No, I can. It's done.
Mulder : Oh crap.
[Mulder runs through empty streets with all the people gone]
Mulder : I guess I should have seen this coming.
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Dana Scully : Skinner called me, Mulder. Is everything all right?
Mulder : You don't remember disappearing off the face of the Earth for about an hour this morning?
Dana Scully : No.
Mulder : Well, I guess everything is okay.
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Mulder : You don't have to wipe out the entire population of the whole planet just to effect a little peace on Earth and goodwill towards men.
Jenn : Mmm, you didn't say goodwill towards men. So you expect me to change the hearts of 6 billion people. No religion in history has been able to pull that off.
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Mulder : What would your wish be if you were in my place?
Jenn : I'm not you. It doesn't matter.
Mulder : No, but I just, you know, I'd like to know.
Jenn : I wish that I'd never heard the word "wish" before. I'd wish that I could live my life moment by moment, enjoying it for what it is instead of worrying about what it isn't. I'd sit down somewhere with a great cup of coffee, and I'd watch the world go by.
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Jenn : What are you, a lawyer?
Mulder : I have to be, with you. I'm gonna get this last wish perfect. I'm not gonna leave you any loopholes. I'm not gonna let you interpret this as an edict to bring back the Third Reich or to make everyone's eyes grow on stalks.
Jenn : Oh geez, and I was so looking forward to that.
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Jenn : So, am I under arrest?
Dana Scully : I can't think of anything we have to hold you on. Not surprisingly, we don't have any evidence of any of this. So, I think she's free to go.
Jenn : No, I'm not. He unrolled me.
Mulder : I get three wishes.
