Kellie Waymire: Penelope

Quotes 

• Penelope : Please no flash photography in the aviary. I said it three times.

  Jaye Tyler : I'm sorry.

  Penelope : The birds are traumatized. And now they have nobody to talk to.

  Jaye Tyler : Those birds talk?

  Penelope : They talk to me. You wouldn't understand.

  Jaye Tyler : I wish I didn't.

  Penelope : Those birds are in the infancy of their relationship. The bond is very delicate. And now they're migrating towards extinction like it's northwestern Paraguay, thanks to you.

  Jaye Tyler : Hey, I'm the one who has to put on topical ointment.

  Penelope : The female reacted defensively. She saw a flash of white. I'm sure she thought you were a snowy owl. And she's not gonna be presenting herself for mating if she thinks she's being attacked by a snowy owl. Those poor birds. You killed their love. You really are a snowy owl.

• Eric Gotts : [sneaking into the zoo after-hours]  So, this isn't really a private showing, is it?

  Jaye Tyler : Uh, no. Not so much a private show as a federal offense. We're here to steal an endangered species and then force them to have sex.

  Penelope : Not stealing. Liberating.

• Jaye Tyler : [mucking an elephant pen, poop is thrown at Penelope]  Ew. Did that monkey just throw its food at you?

  Penelope : In a way.

  Jaye Tyler : Good arm.

• Eric Gotts : This is so romantic, coming back to the zoo. Picking up our date where we left off.

  Jaye Tyler : Yeah.

  Eric Gotts : Uh, but you, uh, don't maybe wanna come back when it's open? I'm pretty sure sneaking in's against the law.

  Penelope : We answer to a higher law.

  Eric Gotts : We do?

  Jaye Tyler : Love. Love is our higher law. And we're here to save it. Not that it was ever in any danger from me.

• Eric Gotts : Lauren and Humphrey are smart birds. Maybe they'll come back.

  Penelope : They're hyacinth macaws, not homing pigeons.