- Grace Adler: There was a bar *in the pool!* I swear, swimming any other way but drunk is just stupid!
- Karen Walker: Can I have my maritini now?
- Will Truman: No! No dessert!
- Grace Adler: Will, she's hungry.
- Will Truman: Tough! She's go to learn that there are consequences to her actions. So you are going to sit there, on this couch and look at Grace's honeymoon pictures!
- Karen Walker: I HATE YOU!
- Grace Adler: Roll one - my luggage!
- Will Truman: [after waiter pours wine on him] Why are you laughing? It's not funny!
- Elton John: [turning in his chair] It's a little bit funny.
- Jack McFarland: [Will and Grace find Jack in disguise in a bar, worried he is in danger; Will thinks it's silly, and starts to wipe off Jack's fake mustache] I can't believe you just did that.
- Jack McFarland: [sarcastically] Just hand me over to the Gay Mafia, the Homo Nostra, the Don Queerleone.
- Grace Adler: That's what this is about? You're hiding?
- Jack McFarland: Yes, Toby's meeting me here. He borrowed his mother's Caprice, and he's gonna smuggle me to Oklahoma.
- Will Truman: You're going to Oklahoma?
- Jack McFarland: Yes, the matinee.