- Karen Walker: [Answering the phone] Grace Adler Designs.
- Will Truman: [Into the phone] Hi, Karen.
- Karen Walker: Grace, the reason you're not in a relationship is on line one.
- [On seeing Jack in an orange jump suit and carrying a garbage bag]
- Will: And they say Tinky Winky was the only gay Teletubby.
- Grace Adler: I don't like the way she's so chummy with your husband.
- Karen Walker: Please don't refer to him as my husband.
- Grace Adler: All right, fine. I don't like how chummy she is with your non-romantic life partner.
- Karen Walker: Also bad, so please stop, ok? I'm glad he has a new friend, especially since I'm so busy.
- Grace Adler: Your sexless lover!
- Val Bassett: Aww... I like that little bra that you're wearing.
- Grace Adler: Aww... and I liked your split-pea soup.
- Val Bassett: Well, thanks.
- Grace Adler: I got a little taste when you shoved my face in the rug.
- Will Truman: [Grace and Val are rolling on the floor, fighting] Once again, girl-on-girl action, and it's totally lost on me. Hey. Hey! Gabrielle, Xena, break it up!
- [Will pulls the two girls apart]
- Will Truman: What is going on?
- Grace Adler: She started it.
- Val Bassett: You did.
- Grace Adler: Nuh-uh!
- Will Truman: Ok, ok! "Nuh-uh" was just uttered by an adult. You're both taking a time-out. Go to your corners. Go on.
- Val Bassett: [to Grace] Bitch.
- Grace Adler: [to Val] Psycho!
- Karen Walker: Honey, you know, whenever I get stressed out, I always like to...
- Grace Adler: [pause] You always like to what?
- Karen Walker: Gosh, I don't think I've ever been stressed out. I mean, why would I be? I got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze, and I got a killer rack! Good morning! Ha ha ha ha! Oh... Whoo!
- Grace Adler: Aww... You know, when you just said that?
- Karen Walker: Yeah?
- Grace Adler: You got the cutest little wrinkles right there.
- [Pointing to Karen's face]
- Karen Walker: What? Where?
- [Looks in mirror]
- Grace Adler: You feel that? That's stress.
- Karen: Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a KILLER rack. Good morning.
- Will Truman: [Grace and Val are having a fight on the floor] Ok girls break it up.
- Grace Adler: [Grace kicks out and hits Will] Sorry.
- Will Truman: [Will falls to the ground holding his groin] Oh! My globes! My precious globes!