Will & Grace (TV Series)

Girls, Interrupted (2000)

Sean Hayes: Jack McFarland

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack McFarland : Oh hey, lady la-la. What are you doing in here?

  Karen Walker : Oh, Stan's been socking down the herbal Viagra again, and this is the only room in the house he doesn't know about. Shh. Don't tell him.

  Jack McFarland : Karen, guess what. Tonight I met the One. The man I wanna spend the rest of my life with.

  Karen Walker : Hey! There is only one man in your life. And her name is Rosario, and don't you forget that.

  Jack McFarland : His name is Bill. Look.

  [Takes out a piece of paper] 

  Jack McFarland : And he gave me a picture of himself.

  [Gives Karen the flyer] 

  Jack McFarland : Isn't that a great idea? I'm gonna start passing out pictures of myself to people I meet at clubs.

  Karen Walker : Did you even read this?

  Jack McFarland : Well, I read the picture. And it said, "Mommy, mommy, give me some of Jack." Ah!

  Karen Walker : He is the head of some group called "Welcome Back Home."

  Jack McFarland : Well, I'm sure it's a typo. He must mean, "Welcome back, Homo."

  Karen Walker : [reads from the flyer]  "It's never too late to get back on the straight and narrow"? Honey, this is a cult! Yeah! Like the Moonies or the homeless. Yes. They're trying to make gay people straight! Good Lord! Don't they know what that'll do to the fall line?

  Jack McFarland : "We noticed your homosexuality. Make the choice to be straight. Gay is not the way"? Jennifer Jason Leigh, these people are freaks!

  Karen Walker : Yes. And it looks like your new sweetie has turned his back on homosexuals. And not in the good way.

  [Turns to look up at the cross hanging above Rosario's bed] 

  Karen Walker : No. Don't listen.

  Jack McFarland : Well, Bill is not straight. I mean, look at us, Kare. We're lovers.

  [Jack puts Bill's photo next to his face] 

  Karen Walker : Lord. I wonder if Stan's exhausted himself on the body pillow yet.

  Jack McFarland : Wait! They're having a meeting tomorrow and we have to go. What this organization is advocating is morally wrong, and it is my responsibility to shine the mirror of truth upon them.

  Karen Walker : Honey...

  Jack McFarland : Okay, I just wanna make out with Bill.

  Karen Walker : Okay.

  Jack McFarland : He's so cute, isn't he?

  Karen Walker : I know, I know, honey, but it's a waste of time, all right? It's like exercise or reading to your kids. The man thinks he's straight.

  Jack McFarland : There are no straight men, only men who haven't met Jack.

  Karen Walker : Yeah, well you can count me out. If you think I'm gonna spend my Sunday morning with a bunch of self-loathing closet cases...

  Jack McFarland : You'll get to be a lesbian.

  Karen Walker : Wake me by 11:00.

• Bill : Man, that was a great game.

  [turns off the television] 

  Jack McFarland : Yeah. So, wanna hit the showers?

  Bill : What?

  Jack McFarland : You know, like they're doing.

  [Gestures toward the television] 

  Bill : Jack, I don't think that's appropriate.

  Jack McFarland : Whaddya talk? It's just a couple of naked straight guys soaping each other down.

  Bill : Okay, I... I have to say something here. The back-slapping and the head-rubbing was one thing, but the ear-blowing and the butterfly kisses are not standard NBA practice. And now this shower thing.

  Jack McFarland : What are you implying?

  Bill : You're coming on to me.

  Jack McFarland : What? I am shocked and appalled. But are you interested?

  Bill : You think that you can just come in here and use this group, this group that puts people back on the path of righteousness, as some kind of dating service?

  Jack McFarland : I just need a yes or a no.

  Bill : No! And I want to make something crystal clear to you and to everyone else in this room.

  [to the group members] 

  Bill : Excuse me. We are here to lead normal, heterosexual lives. Man and woman are meant to be together. So anyone here who has a misguided notion that Welcome Back Home is some kind of a - a gay pick-up joint, you can just leave right now.

  [everyone but Bill, Karen, and Jack leave] 

  Karen Walker : Well, look at 'em go. I haven't seen a stampede like this since Pamplona. Oh, my god, listen to me. I'm a funny lesbian. I'm Ellen!

  [Karen leaves] 

  Bill : [Bill looks at Jack]  Well, as long as it's a heterosexual soap-down.

  Jack McFarland : Attagirl.

  [Bill and Jack start to leave together]