- Jack: [High on coffee, and saying speedily] Hey, friends, lovers, mothers and other strangers. You are never going to believe what's happened to me... Oh, my God, did you just see that? I almost did a half nelson, I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my domo arigatos, Mr tomatoes.
- [Gulps iced coffee drink]
- Jack: Huge News! I have met, are you ready for this, Mr Right, well, Mr Right Now, anyway. Good night, folks, I'm here all week, Jack 2000. He works over at the Jumpin Java - you know, that coffee shop on seventy second and his name is Paul and he is cute with a capital Q! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets, and the hotter he gets, the sweatier he gets, and the sweatier he gets... I forgot where I'm goin with this, but the point is me likey he and he likey me and the best part is... , schezam! he gives me free iced coffee every time I go in which is every hour on the hour and thank you very much and occasionally on the half hour. Ba ba ba ba ba
- [blows raspberry]
- Will: It's always "Will and Grace." Will and Grace buy the present. Will and Grace do the speech. "We cordially invite Will and Grace." why don't they ever say "Will and guest"?
- Grace: Well, who did you want to bring?
- Will: I don't know! One of the Gap dancers, Aquaman, anyone!
- Grace: Well, who's stopping you?
- Will: You are! Because you're so content to play Mrs. Will Truman. I want a husband. I want someone who loves me, a-and a family. I want this, not this!
- Grace: I do not know where you got the idea that I am your wife, but let me tell you something, if that's true, we've got big martial problems because Mrs. Truman's getting a lot of action on the side.