- Drew Carey: Hey, you know, during the break, I installed a new safety feature on my SUV. Yeah, I took off the tires.
- Greg Proops: [in "Party Quirks"] I wonder if you've met Ryan. He's all the animals getting onto Noah's Ark. He thinks he's...
- Drew Carey: [buzzes; Ryan leaves the stage] Close enough. That's close enough.
- Greg Proops: He's, he thinks he's a series of animals...
- Drew Carey: It says here "the third of each animal species", but close enough, you'll never get it.
- Greg Proops: [incredulously] "The third of each animal species"?
- [to camera]
- Greg Proops: Aggggh!
- Drew Carey: [after "Party Quirks", where Wayne's quirk was "determined old lady who likes tight butts"] A thousand points to everybody but Wayne, who suddenly doesn't think my butt is tight enough.
- Wayne Brady: Now baby, you know I'm playin', baby, you know I'm playin', girl.
- Drew Carey: [shakes head] Too late. It's too late.
- Wayne Brady: Now come on, you pirate, where'd you hide all that booty?
- Drew Carey: You can't sweet talk me now.
- Drew Carey: [before "Greatest Hits"] What I need from the audience is a suggestion of what you wanted to be when you grow up.
- [audience shouts various suggestions]
- Drew Carey: Nurse, that's a good one. We'll do nurse...
- [one audience member shouts "Prostitute!"]
- Drew Carey: Hey, call me when you grow up. Ha ha.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Greatest Hits"] What comes to mind when I say the words "Cubs" and "White Sox"?
- Colin Mochrie: Banana splits.
- [audience laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: They tried introducing them during double headers in the eighties. It just didn't work. 'Cause when you threw it, the banana would slip out and you'd be hit with ice cream.
- [Ryan chuckles]
- Colin Mochrie: At least in the park I was in.
- Ryan Stiles: We'll get you some more medication after the commercial.