- C.J. Cregg: You know if I was living in Qumar I wouldn't be allowed to say 'shove it up your ass Toby.' But since I'm not, shove it up your ass Toby.
- President Josiah Bartlet: You know, after the Civil War, veterans had to come to D.C. to get their pensions? They had to visit the office personally. They waited for a clerk to look through all the Civil War records until their papers were found. You know what the papers were bound with?
- Toby Ziegler: No.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Red tape. That's where it comes from.
- Josh Lyman: So I just came from seeing Amy Gardner.
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Yeah? How'd it go?
- Josh Lyman: Well, I showed her who's boss.
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Who'd it turn out to be?
- Josh Lyman: It's still unclear.
- C.J. Cregg: They beat women, Nancy. They hate women. The only reason they keep Qumari women alive is to make more Qumari men.
- Nancy McNally: So what do you want me to do about it?
- C.J. Cregg: How about instead of suggesting that we sell the guns to them, suggesting that we shoot the guns at them? And by the way, not to change the subject, but how are we supposed to have any moral credibility when we talk about gun control and making sure that guns don't get in the hands of the wrong people? God, Nancy! What the hell are we defining as the *right* people?
- Nancy McNally: This is the real world and we can't isolate our enemies.
- C.J. Cregg: I know about the real world and I'm not suggesting we isolate them.
- Nancy McNally: You're suggesting we eliminate them
- C.J. Cregg: I have a briefing...
- Nancy McNally: You're suggesting that...
- C.J. Cregg: I'm not suggesting anything. I don't suggest foreign policy around here.
- Nancy McNally: You are right now.
- C.J. Cregg: It's the 21st Century, Nancy. The world's gotten smaller. I don't know how we can tolerate this kind of suffering anymore, particularly when all it does is continue the cycle of anti-American hatred. But that's not the point, either.
- Nancy McNally: What's the point?
- C.J. Cregg: The point is that apartheid was an East Hampton clambake compared to what we laughingly refer to as the life these women lead. And if we had sold M1-A1's to South Africa fifteen years ago, you'd have set the building on fire. Thank God we never needed to refuel in Johannesburg!
- Nancy McNally: [nods] It's a big world, C.J. And everybody has guns, and I'm doing the best I can.
- C.J. Cregg: They're beating the women, Nancy.
- Josh Lyman: The more countries who sign the treaty, the more effective it is.
- Amy Gardner: The more toothless a treaty is, the more toothless it is.
- Josh Lyman: That's a permeating syllogism, to be sure.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: You know, Charlie, history cannot be reduced down to names and dates on a piece of paper.
- Charlie Young: Yeah, but I'm pretty sure this final can.
- Josh Lyman: Amy Gardner's always irate about something. I wouldn't give it a lot of thought.
- Abbey Bartlet: I happen to agree with her.
- Josh Lyman: Me too, and I think it deserves a lot of thought.
- Donna Moss: Josh?
- Josh Lyman: Could I get *five* minutes without being interrupted by banality?
- Abbey Bartlet: It's not banality, it's the boss's wife.
- Josh Lyman: Good morning, ma'am.
- Abbey Bartlet: Good morning, Josh.
- Josh Lyman: A little heads up wouldn't be out of line.
- Donna Moss: I said "Josh."
- President Josiah Bartlet: Did the Celtics win last night?
- Charlie Young: No - they got crushed.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Okay. When I say, "Did they win?" you can just say "yes" or "no".
- Charlie Young: They got pretty well crushed.
- Toby Ziegler: It's not going to be a big deal.
- Sam Seaborn: Isn't that what we usually say right before something becomes a big deal?
- Toby Ziegler: Ginger?
- Ginger: Yes.
- Toby Ziegler: Have you set up a meeting for me?
- Ginger: Yes.
- Toby Ziegler: With the veteran's group?
- Ginger: Yes.
- Toby Ziegler: The one that's talking about not coming?
- Ginger: Yes.
- Toby Ziegler: You haven't yet have you?
- Ginger: No.
- Toby Ziegler: But you will?
- Ginger: Yes.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I'm a master of modern history. You can ask me anything.
- Charlie Young: What year did we pass the Clean Water Act?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I don't know.