- Leo McGarry: I fought a jungle war. I'm not doing it again. If I could put myself anywhere in time, it would be the Cabinet room, on August 4, 1964. When our ships were attacked by North Vietnam in the Tonkin Gulf. I'd say, "Mr. President... don't do it. Don't consider authorizing a massive commitment of troops and throwing in our lot with torturers and panderers, leaders without principle and soldiers without conviction; no clear mission, and no end in sight." This war is at home. The casualties are in our prisons, and not our hospitals. The amount of money the American government is spending in Colombia is the exact same amount American consumers are spending buying drugs from Colombia, we're funding both sides of this war and we'll never win it that way.
- Sam Seaborn: She goes out with guys. Are you jealous?
- Josh Lyman: No.
- Sam Seaborn: See?
- Josh Lyman: I don't get jealous.
- Sam Seaborn: So?
- Josh Lyman: I don't like it. And I usually do everything within my considerable capabilities to sabotage it.
- Joey Lucas: You say that these numbers mean dial it down. I say they mean dial it up. You haven't gotten through. There are people you haven't persuaded yet. These number mean dial it up. Otherwise you're like the French radical, watching the crowd run by and saying, "There go my people. I must find out where they're going so I can lead them."
- Josh Lyman: I'm on hold.
- [paces]
- Josh Lyman: I'm on hold.
- [slams phone against desk]
- Josh Lyman: I'm in some kind of hellish hold world of holding.
- Donna Moss: Josh?
- Josh Lyman: I'm on hold.
- Donna Moss: They'll call us and tell us when the power's back on.
- Josh Lyman: They did call us.
- Donna Moss: What happened?
- Josh Lyman: I'm on hold.
- Toby Ziegler: Where's Josh?
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: He went back to the phone banks.
- Toby Ziegler: Is the electricity back on?
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: No.
- Toby Ziegler: Then what's he doing there?
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Hoping the electricity goes on.
- Toby Ziegler: Well that ought to do it.
- Josh Lyman: I'm thinking about firing you.
- Donna Moss: You've fired me twice already tonight. I'm impervious.
- Josh Lyman: Among other things.
- Abbey Bartlet: Memory lapses, loss of cognitive function, failure to reason, failure to think clearly. And I can't tell you if it's going to happen. I don't know if it's going to get better, I don't know if it's going to get worse. But we had a deal. And that deal is how you justified keeping it a secret from the world. It's how you justified it to God... It's how you justified it to me.
- Josh Lyman: Five-day waiting period. That's all. A person can't wait five days to buy a gun? Someone needs a gun right now, right this second, isn't that something that the public should be concerned about?
- Donna Moss: On the other hand, taking the feelings of gun owners into account, if you gotta shoot somebody, it probably isn't something that can wait.
- Josh Lyman: Yeah.
- Donna Moss: Josh.
- Josh Lyman: Yeah.
- Donna Moss: Can I tell you something about women?
- Josh Lyman: Oh, god, please don't.
- Donna Moss: They like to be wooed.
- Josh Lyman: Why are you asking me the question when you're gonna have the conversation all by yourself?
- Abbey Bartlet: We had a deal!
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Yes, we had a deal.
- Abbey Bartlet: Yes, Jed. Look at me! Do you get that you have M.S.?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Abbey...
- Abbey Bartlet: Do you get that your own immune system is shredding your brain? And I can't tell you why. Do you have any idea how good a doctor I am and that I can't tell you why?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I've had one episode in two years.
- Abbey Bartlet: Yes, but relapsing-remitting M.S. can turn into secondary-progressive M.S. oftentimes ten years after the initial diagnosis which is exactly where we'll be in two years! Do you know what that's going to look like if it happens?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: We weren't prepared for someone to try and outfox us with a stratagem so sophisticated, it's an entire generation beyond "Hey, look! Your shoelaces are untied!"? Is that how I just lost nine guys to a damn street gang with a ham radio? They lured us there so that they could kill nine American soldiers!
- Mickey Troop: Mr. President, for the kind of victory Americans are used to, for the kind of victory Americans demand from a war, you need a ten-to-one ratio.
- [...]
- Mickey Troop: We need to put 200 to 300,000 men into a jungle war, and I think we'd lose as many as half.
- [...]
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: You really gotta ask yourself what's the point of being a superpower anymore.
- [Ainsley is about to meet the President for the first time]
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: How are you doing, Ainsley?
- Ainsley Hayes: My mouth is dry, my hands are moist and I have to pee.
- Donna Moss: Josh, how is this not a no-brainer?
- Josh Lyman: Columbia?
- Donna Moss: Yeah.
- Josh Lyman: You say get 'em home?
- Donna Moss: Of course I say get 'em home. Who doesn't say get 'em home? That should be the person that has to make the phone call to the families.
- Josh Lyman: And who has to call the families of the nine commandos who just died trying to save five guys it turns out we could have freed six hours ago?
- President Josiah Bartlet: We didn't get a chance to talk again last night.
- Abbey Bartlet: I don't think we should.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Talk?
- Abbey Bartlet: No.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Ever?
- Abbey Bartlet: Oh, if wishing made it so, Jed.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I tell you something, Leo, after heroin and cocaine, tobacco is next.
- Leo McGarry: Great. Another criminal empire we can give birth to. There's be speakeasies all over Chicago where you can get smuggled cartons of Marlboro Lights.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: [rhetorically] You really gotta ask yourself, "What's the point in being a superpower anymore?"
- Ainsley Hayes: And I'm still scared to meet him, but I'll overcome that in order to erase the humiliation that I've brought upon myself and my father.
- Sam Seaborn: You're just in your own little Euripides play over there, aren't you?
- Ainsley Hayes: I'll meet him another time.
- Sam Seaborn: What other time?
- Ainsley Hayes: Better time.
- Sam Seaborn: What's a better time?
- Ainsley Hayes: Tomorrow.
- Sam Seaborn: Don't you have to absolve yourself of the humiliation visited on your family and the House of Atreus?
- Ainsley Hayes: Yes, but I believe I'm going to compound the humiliation.