- President Josiah Bartlet: I want to call senators. We'll start with our friends. When we're done with those two, we'll go on to the other 98.
- Josh Lyman: It's a weekend, it's spring training, CJ. Mike Piazza is gonna be standing in the batting cage, he's gonna turn and see me, he's gonna say 'Dude!'
- C.J. Cregg: Well, I wouldn't want you to miss a legitimate Dude Sighting.
- Vice President John Hoynes: Toby, the total tonnage of what I know that you don't could stun a team of oxen in its tracks.
- President Josiah Bartlet: CJ, let me tell you something, don't ever, ever underestimate the will of a Grandfather. We're madmen, we don't give a damn; we got here before you and they will be here after you. We'll make enemies, we'll break laws, we'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren!
- Leo McGarry: There was quite a bit of sugar in the crème de caramel.
- Josh Lyman: It's an exhibition game.
- Donna Moss: You're flying to Florida to see the Mets play another team in a game that doesn't count?
- Josh Lyman: Actually, it's an intra-squad game.
- Donna Moss: So you're flying to Florida to see the Mets play each other in a game that doesn't count.
- Josh Lyman: Yeah.
- Sen. Howard Stackhouse: In these negotiations about a bill aimed at health issues affecting children we've allocated funds for Alzheimers, glaucoma, and erectile dysfunction.
- Josh Lyman: Sir
- Sen. Howard Stackhouse: You know a lot of two-year-olds afflicted with that horrific condition, do you?
- Ed: Report on study of Route 66.
- Sam Seaborn: Which tells us?
- Larry: Conditions and traffic flow of America's oldest transcontinental highway.
- Sam Seaborn: Anything in there I don't get from the song?
- Ed: Nope.
- Sam Seaborn: Lose it.
- Mark O'Donnell: CJ, it's Friday night, I'm supposed to have dinner with my girlfriend. She's gonna kill me.
- C.J. Cregg: Yeah, but you know what, Mark, this is just the kind of thing that can cleanse the palate of a relationship that's gone stale, like a fine sorbet.
- Mark O'Donnell: We've been goin' out for three weeks.
- C.J. Cregg: And she's already bitchin' about dinner?
- Mark O'Donnell: CJ...
- C.J. Cregg: Lose her.
- Sam Seaborn: Nice job.
- Josh Lyman: I know! I'm thinkin' seriously about turnin' pro.
- Sam Seaborn: Yeah?
- Josh Lyman: Yeah. I got agents talkin' to me, tellin' me I could go high in the second round, maybe low in the first if I have a good post-season.
- Sam Seaborn: You don't wanna stay in school and get your education?
- Josh Lyman: Nah. I'm white. Nobody's gonna mind.
- C.J. Cregg: Listen up, everybody. This was unforeseen. Obviously, he's gotta finish sometime. When he does, there'll be a vote immediately; when that's done, the President will make his calls, White House staff will be available for comment, and most important, you will all write about it. In the meantime, I say pizza for everybody. Who's with me?
- [silence; no one moves]
- C.J. Cregg: Excellent!
- Josh Lyman: You want to do this?
- Sam Seaborn: Absolutely.
- Josh Lyman: Why?
- Sam Seaborn: 'Cause it's insane. We got over 3,000 reports from federal agencies last year. Agriculture spent $40 million producing 280 reports. Four years of college, three years of law school, I spent 30 bucks at Kinko's. Gimme the thing.