The West Wing (TV Series)

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc (1999)

Ruben Santiago-Hudson: Morris Tolliver

Quotes 

• President Josiah Bartlet : What is that?

  Morris Tolliver : It's a flu shot.

  President Josiah Bartlet : I don't need a flu shot.

  Morris Tolliver : You do need a flu shot.

  President Josiah Bartlet : How do I know this isn't the start of a military coup?

  Morris Tolliver : Sir...

  President Josiah Bartlet : I want the Secret Service in here right away.

  Morris Tolliver : In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service is going to be on your side?

  President Josiah Bartlet : [pause]  Now that's a thought that's going to fester.

• President Josiah Bartlet : It's not like I'm totally without experience, you know.

  Morris Tolliver : Yes, sir.

  President Josiah Bartlet : You're talking to a former governor. I was commander-in-chief of the New Hampshire National Guard.

  Morris Tolliver : You guys get into a lot of tough scrapes, did ya?

  President Josiah Bartlet : We didn't have to. We'd just stand on the border and stare you down. Then we'd all go for pancakes.

• President Josiah Bartlet : Jokes like that are part of my folksy charm, Morris. It's at the very heart of my popularity.

  Morris Tolliver : Don't you have a job approval rating of like 3% or something?

  President Josiah Bartlet : Well, we're having some difficulty getting the word out.

• [a Navy doctor is checking the president's pulse] 

  President Josiah Bartlet : So, how's my pulse?

  Morris Tolliver : Have you been running up and down the stairs at the Rose Bowl in the past few minutes?

  President Josiah Bartlet : No.

  Morris Tolliver : Then it's not that good.

• President Josiah Bartlet : Your wife's beautiful, too. How'd you get her to marry you? Did you trick her or something?

  Morris Tolliver : Hypnosis.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Yeah, I figured.

• President Josiah Bartlet : [referring to the newborn child of Navy Physician Tolliver, who's examining him]  So how's the kid?

  Morris Tolliver : Ten days old today.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Can she spell anything yet?

  Morris Tolliver : No, sir.

• President Josiah Bartlet : [looking at a picture of Doctor Tolliver's wife and newborn daughter, after asking whether the doctor has a picture of the baby]  Oh, she's beautiful! What's her name?

  Morris Tolliver : Angela's my wife. Corey is our daughter. It was my grandmother's name. She got it from her great aunt, who got it from the first free woman she ever met.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Hmm, that name's got a hell of a past.

  Morris Tolliver : My family's very proud of our past, as you can tell.

• President Josiah Bartlet : [the President is talking as Navy Physician Tolliver takes his blood pressure; he's inquiring about the doctor's plans for an imminent trip to the Middle East]  What's in Jordan?

  Morris Tolliver : Amman.

  President Josiah Bartlet : You should stay here. We got Amman, a woman, little kids... the works.

  Morris Tolliver : 131 over 84

  [proceeding with the check-up as if the President hadn't said anything] 

  Morris Tolliver : .

  President Josiah Bartlet : See, that was a joke.

  Morris Tolliver : Good one

  [in a deadpan, monotone delivery] 

  Morris Tolliver : .

  President Josiah Bartlet : Everybody's a critic today.