The West Wing (TV Series)

Pilot (1999)

Rob Lowe: Sam Seaborn

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sam Seaborn : Ms. O'Brian, I understand your feelings, but please believe me when I tell you that I am a nice guy having a bad day. I just found out the Times is publishing a poll that says that a considerable portion of Americans feel that the White House has lost energy and focus. A perception that is not likely to be altered by the video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a tree. As we speak, the Coast Guard are fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean, while the governor of Florida wants to blockade the port of Miami. A good friend of mine is about to get fired for going on television and making sense. And it turns out that I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night. Now, would you please in the name of compassion tell me which one of those kids is my boss's daughter?

  Mallory O'Brian : That would be me.

  Sam Seaborn : You.

  Mallory O'Brian : Yes.

  Sam Seaborn : [realizing the ambiguity of the phrasing]  "Leo's daughter's fourth-grade class."

  Mallory O'Brian : Yes.

  Sam Seaborn : Well, this is bad on so many levels.

• Laurie : Tell your friend POTUS he's got a funny name, and he should learn how to ride a bicycle.

  Sam Seaborn : I would, but he's not my friend; he's my boss. It's not his name, it's his title.

  Laurie : POTUS?

  Sam Seaborn : President of the United States. I'll call ya.

• Mallory O'Brian : I'm sorry to be rude, but are you a moron?

  Sam Seaborn : In this particular area, yes.

  Mallory O'Brian : The 18th president was Ulysses S. Grant and the Roosevelt Room was named for Theodore.

  Sam Seaborn : Really?

  Mallory O'Brian : There's like a six-foot painting on the wall of Teddy Roosevelt.

  Sam Seaborn : I should have put two and two together.

  Mallory O'Brian : Yes.

  Sam Seaborn : The thing is while there really are a great many things on which I can speak with authority, I'm not good at talking about the White House.

  Mallory O'Brian : You're the White House Deputy Communications Director and you're not good at talking about the White House?

  Sam Seaborn : Ironic, isn't it?

• Toby Ziegler : You think the United States is under attack from 1,200 Cubans in rowboats?

  Sam Seaborn : I'm not saying I don't like our chances.

  Toby Ziegler : Mind-boggling to me we ever won an election.

• [Sam's first line] 

  Sam Seaborn : I don't think we're going to run the table, if that's what you're asking.

• Billy : Just tell me who to call.

  Sam Seaborn : Well, you could call 1-800-BITE-ME