- [first lines]
- Rev. Dennis Sparrow: Well. Here we are again, wherever that is.
- Diana: Oh Lord, another fifteen minutes of relentless gibberish from God's lost messenger.
- Jamie Edwards: Maybe you and I should slip out to the local hostelry.
- Jane: Granddad!
- Rev. Dennis Sparrow: Good morning, and how nice to see so many bright and cheery faces gathered round the font this glorious day for the christening of this child...
- Jane: Michaelmas Sunday.
- Rev. Dennis Sparrow: Nicholas Sunday. Where is the babe?
- Diana: It's not a christening, Dennis. It's sermon number twelve, the conversion of Saint Paul on the road to Safeways.