Wagon Train (TV Series)

The Greenhorn Story (1959)

Byron Foulger: Humphrey Pumphret

Quotes 

• Samuel T. Evans : Are you afraid of the Major?

  Humphrey Pumphret : Yes, I am. He sees through to my essential inferiority.

• Humphrey Pumphret : Speaking strictly from an unprejudiced point of view, a girl like Melanie doesn't come along every day, does she?

  Samuel T. Evans : No, no, Sir, she doesn't. A girl like Melanie only comes along once in a lifetime.

• Ronnie Pumphret , Samuel T. Evans : You don't know how to put the tongue on the wagon, do you?

  Ronnie Pumphret , Humphrey Pumphret : Go bother someone else, Ronnie. Poppa's busy.

  Ronnie Pumphret : It's gonna rain. Major Adams says it's gonna start at four o'clock.

  Samuel T. Evans : Well, if that's the case, we'd better have someone tell us what to do here with this wagon tongue.

  Humphrey Pumphret : If only I could remember about that double tree.

  Ronnie Pumphret : The double tree's connected to the double tree hammock to the tongue, and the tongue is connected to the hounds by the free pin and the hounds are connected by the front axle by the...

  Samuel T. Evans : The what?

  Ronnie Pumphret : Kingpin.

  Samuel T. Evans : That's it. That's it. Ronnie, you're wonderful.

  Ronnie Pumphret : I snooped.

  Humphrey Pumphret : Poppa's clever little boy.

• Humphrey Pumphret : A bride should never go to her husband without her mother's cookbook.