Veronica Mars (TV Series)

Pilot (2004)

Kristen Bell: Veronica Mars

Photos 

Quotes 

• Wallace Fennel : Girl, you should hear what people say about you.

  Veronica Mars : So then what are you doing sitting here?

  Wallace Fennel : You sat next to me.

  Veronica Mars : This is my table.

  Wallace Fennel : And what a fine table it is. What do you suppose this is made of?

  [knocks table] 

  Wallace Fennel : Oak?

• Weevil : Sister, the only time I care what a woman has to say is when she's riding my big old hog. But even then, it's not so much words - just a bunch of 'oohs' and 'aahs,' you know?

  Veronica Mars : So it's big, huh?

  Weevil : Legendary.

  Veronica Mars : Well, let's see it. I mean, if it's as big as you say, I'll be your girlfriend.

  [gasps] 

  Veronica Mars : We could go to prom together! What? What seems to be the problem? I'm on a schedule here, vato.

  Felix Toombs : Dude, Weevil, don't let blondie talk to you like that.

  Veronica Mars : Sounds like your buddy here wants to see it, too.

  Felix Toombs : Oh hell, I'll show you mine!

• Keith Mars : Who's your daddy?

  Veronica Mars : I hate it when you say that.

• Logan : Hey, Veronica Mars... Do you know what your little joke cost me?

  Veronica Mars : Well, I'm pretty sure you won't be getting your bong back.

  Logan : Wrong answer. Would you care to guess again?

  Veronica Mars : Clearly your sense of humour.

  Logan : Nope. You're usually so good at pop quizzes. No, the correct answer is my car. That's right. My Daddy took my T-Bird away. And you know what I won't be having. Fun, fun, fun.

• Veronica Mars : [voiceover]  This is my school. If you go here, your parents are either millionaires, or your parents work for millionaires. Neptune, California, a town without a middle class. If you're in the second group, you get a job. Fast food, movie theaters, mini marts. Or you could be me. My after school job means tailing philandering spouses or investigating false injury claims.

• Veronica Mars : [to Wallace]  Congratulations sport. In your short time here, you already managed to piss off the motorcycle gang and the local sheriff.

• Mrs. White : [to a sleeping Veronica]  Congratulations, you're my volunteer. Pope. An Essay on Man. Epistle I.

  Veronica Mars : Hope springs eternal in the human breast; Man never Is, but always to be blest: the soul, uneasy and confin'd from home, rests and expatiates in a life to come.

  Mrs. White : And what do you suppose Pope meant by that?

  Veronica Mars : Life's a bitch until you die.

• Cliff McCormack : I heard your dad's out tracking down bail jumpers half the time and yet somehow all the cases that come in here still get handled. How is that?

  Veronica Mars : We're efficient.

• Veronica Mars : [voiceover]  Quite a reputation I've got, huh? You wanna know how I lost my virginity? So do I.

• Veronica Mars : I used to think I knew what tore our family apart. Now I'm sure I don't. But I promise this: I will find out what really happened, and I will bring this family back together again. I'm sorry, is that mushy? Well, you know what they say. Veronica Mars, she's a marshmallow.

• Veronica Mars : [voiceover]  Let's not forget Logan Echolls. His dad makes twenty million a picture. You probably own his action figure. Every school has an obligatory psychotic jackass. He's ours.

• Weevil : So that, uh, surveillance tape just... poof?

  Veronica Mars : That's fortunate.

• Keith Mars : You know what, this is important. You remember this: I used to be cool.

  Veronica Mars : When?

  Keith Mars : '77. Trans-Am, Blue Oyster Cult in the 8-track, a foxy stacked blonde riding shotgun, racing for pink slips. Aw, wait a minute, I'm thinking of a Springsteen song. Scratch everything, I was never cool.

  Veronica Mars : I don't know which bothers me more, "foxy" or "stacked"...

• Wallace Fennel : I suddenly feel like I'm in a scene from The Outsiders.

  Veronica Mars : Be cool, Sodapop.

• Veronica Mars : God, Lilly, I see the Prozac's working.

  Lilly Kane : High on life, Veronica Mars. I've got a secret. A good one.