The Venture Bros. (TV Series)

Mid-Life Chrysalis (2004)

Patrick Warburton: Brock Samson

Quotes 

• O.S.I. Instructor : Well, let's see here, Mr. Samson. On the driving portion, you totalled every car but the one you were driving; on the pistol range, you refused to use a gun. And, uh, oh. Hah! Yeah, here's my favorite: on the written, you drew a little guy with wings from the Led Zeppelin records.

  Brock Samson : Icarus. So uh... what are you trying to tell me here, little man? That you don't like Zep?

  [Tester stands and rips the written portion in half] 

  O.S.I. Instructor : My father is General Treister. You saved his life. The man spoke of you as a god. And you did not disappoint.

  Brock Samson : Oh yeah, I used to babysit you.

• O.S.I. Instructor : This test will, uh, test your proficiency with firearms, you'll have two min...

  Brock Samson : Uh-uh. No guns. I don't use guns.

  O.S.I. Instructor : The nine millimeter Glock is standard issue to all agents in the field. You're required...

  Brock Samson : Guns are for sissies.

• Dean Venture : No worries, Brock. I'll walk you through the written portion. Question 1: You're in Prague. A sniper's in the window above you. There's an alligator behind you, and a grizzly bear in front of you. What do you do? Do you...

  Brock Samson : Back somersault, pry off the alligator's jaw, use it as a boomerang to take out the sniper, when he falls out the window the grizzly'll go straight for the easier meal.

  Dean Venture : Uh... the answer's C.

• [Brock is doing push ups, Hank steps on his back] 

  Hank Venture : You're nothing! You're weak! Why do you even wanna be a secret agent, boy? You think you're good enough?

  Brock Samson : Hank, seriously, when I get my license back I'm allowed to kill you.

  Hank Venture : Sorry, Brock.

  [quickly removes his foot] 

• Brock Samson : Little worried about that hickey, Doc.

  [Dr. Venture's is halfway covered in swelling redness] 

  Dr. Venture : Oh, Brock, don't worry. I'm not falling in love!... And what would be wrong with that if I was? The boys need a new mommy. Rusty needs a new mommy.

  Hank Venture : We don't even know who our old mommy was.