The Venture Bros. (TV Series)
Mid-Life Chrysalis (2004)
James Urbaniak: Dr. Venture, Bartender
Quotes
-
Dr. Venture : When Marrakesh is overrun by mutant lizard people, don't come crying to me!
-
Dr. Venture : [spent a night with strippers] You didn't miss much. Oh, one of them was dressed like a cheerleader and said she was 19, but she had a Caesarean scar and her face had more lines on it than a mirror at Studio 54.
-
Dr. Venture : Crap, who am I kidding? My looks are going down the toilet faster than an unwanted pregnancy on prom night.
-
Dr. Venture : I have something to show you all! Those of you with weak stomachs should leave now! What you are about to see is a nightmare, inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka!
[reveals he has transformed into a large caterpillar]
Hank Venture : Holy crap! What happened?
Dr. Venture : Apparently this is the reward I get for years of screwing with super-science. In short, I pissed in God's eye - and He blinked.
Hank Venture : [pokes Dr. Venture] Golly, does it hurt?
Dr. Venture : No. But the poking does, let's stop that now.
Hank Venture : Sorry. Hey, what's H.E.L.P.eR. gotten into?
[H.E.L.P.eR. is holding Dr. Venture's shed skin]
Dr. Venture : That appears to be my dermis.
Hank Venture : Wow! Bet if you put that under your pillow, the Tooth Fairy'll give you, like, a grand!
Dr. Venture : Okay, Hank? You are taking this way too well.
Hank Venture : Well, gee Dad, we've seen a lot of strange stuff over the years. Last week we were fighting a giant dinosaur!
Dr. Venture : Granted, but I wasn't the dinosaur! Can't you see where this is maybe different?
-
Dr. Venture : You don't need a license for operation "Get Me Some".
-
Brock Samson : Little worried about that hickey, Doc.
[Dr. Venture's is halfway covered in swelling redness]
Dr. Venture : Oh, Brock, don't worry. I'm not falling in love!... And what would be wrong with that if I was? The boys need a new mommy. Rusty needs a new mommy.
Hank Venture : We don't even know who our old mommy was.
