Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Smell the Umbrella Stand (2005)

Angus T. Jones: Jake Harper

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Jake Harper : [raining outside]  Well, this is going to be a sucky weekend.

  Charlie Harper : Try spending it with an eleven-year-old who does nothing but complain.

  Jake Harper : You mean me?

  Charlie Harper : No wonder they gotta write your name in your underwear.

• Jake Harper : [curious about his father's upcoming colonoscopy]  Why do they have to do it?

  Charlie Harper : They just want to see what's going on up there.

  Jake Harper : Did Dad *lose* something? 'Cause when I swallowed thirty-five cents, we just waited for it to come out.

  Charlie Harper : No kiddin'.

  Jake Harper : Yeah. But I only got thirty cents back.

  Charlie Harper : Well, the house always takes a cut.