Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Smell the Umbrella Stand (2005)

Marin Hinkle: Judith Harper

Quotes 

• Alan Harper : [discussing his upcoming colonoscopy]  So, I'm really nervous about it.

  Judith Harper : [irritated]  That's it?

  Alan Harper : Well, it's a long snakey thing with a camera!

  Judith Harper : Oh, please! Your son was ten pounds at birth and his head was the same size it is now!

• Judith Harper : [to Alan, not believing Jake is sick]  I'm not buying it. I'll be back to get him Monday night, and if I find out you went ahead and took him to Vegas, you'll be getting a colonoscopy from my attorney!

  Charlie Harper : [to Alan]  I've seen your alimony checks. You already got one.