Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Hi, Mr. Horned One (2005)

Conchata Ferrell: Berta

Quotes 

• Alan Harper : [to Berta, as Isabella walks out]  What are you doing?

  Berta : [hastily putting on jacket]  Leaving!

  Alan Harper : Why?

  Berta : Did you see that bitch? You've got to put a whole lot of gone between you and a broad like that!

• Berta : Hey, Vampira. Tell Count Humpula to get out of bed so I can change his sheets.

• Berta : [to Alan about his inflamed eye]  Looks like you got bit in the face by one of them ebola monkeys!... I mean, you weren't exactly eye-candy going in, but now... Wuff! You could scare the flys off a manure truck.