Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Hi, Mr. Horned One (2005)

Jon Cryer: Alan Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Alan Harper : [to Berta, as Isabella walks out]  What are you doing?

  Berta : [hastily putting on jacket]  Leaving!

  Alan Harper : Why?

  Berta : Did you see that bitch? You've got to put a whole lot of gone between you and a broad like that!

• Isabella : You know, people like you have been persecuting people like me for thousands of years.

  Alan Harper : Hmm. Well, that's a bit hard to believe seeing as people like me have historically been victims and food.

• Alan Harper : [handing the telephone to Charlie]  Mom wants to ask you something.

  Charlie : [taking the telephone, cheerfully says]  Hi, Mom, *no*!

  [hangs up]