Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark (2004)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie Harper : I mean, you're a little kookoo, Judith, but compared to our mother, you're like a fart in a hurricane.

• Alan Harper : Any luck?

  Charlie Harper : The little snothead kicked me out of his room!

  Alan Harper : Welcome to the club.

  Charlie Harper : Yeah, but I'm the cool uncle!

  Alan Harper : Oh. And I'm the uncool dad?

  Charlie Harper : Don't get defensive. You did the best you could.

  Alan Harper : Hey! Hey! That kid has nothing to complain about! He's never been spanked, he's never even been yelled at! And even while my marriage was collapsing, he always came first!

  Charlie Harper : Well, I'm glad you're not defensive.

  Alan Harper : He has a great life. He gets everything he wants. I deny him nothing. Oh, my God, what have I done to my son?

  Charlie Harper : Alan, I was kidding. You're a terrific father.