- [closing narration]
- Narrator: Exit Mr. Garrity, a would-be charlatan, a make-believe con man and a sad misjudger of his own talents. Respectfully submitted from an empty cemetery on a dark hillside that is one of the slopes leading to - The Twilight Zone.
- [opening narration]
- Narrator: Introducing Mr. Jared Garrity, a gentleman of commerce, who in the latter half of the nineteenth century plied his trade in the wild and wooly hinterlands of the American West. And Mr. Garrity, if one can believe him, is a resurrecter of the dead - which, on the face of it, certainly sounds like the bull is off the nickel. But to the scoffers amongst you, and you ladies and gentlemen from Missouri, don't laugh this one off entirely, at least until you've seen a sample of Mr. Garrity's wares, and an example of his services. The place is Happiness, Arizona, the time around 1890, and you and I have just entered a saloon where the bar whiskey is brewed, bottled and delivered - from The Twilight Zone.
- [last lines]
- Jared Garrity: [addressing the cemetery before leaving] Real sorry friends. I'm real sorry that I actually couldn't perform what I lay claim to, so... rest in peace. All of you.
- [Garrity leaves with his dog and accomplice. The dead begin rising from their graves]
- First Resurrected Man: Man don't do himself justice. The actor that played you wasn't worth a darn, but that there Garrity sure can do a job o' resurrectin'.
- John Jensen: I can't wait to get back into town. I've got a lotta drinkin' to catch up with.
- Lightning Peterson: There's a yellow skunk of a sheriff I aim to settle a score with too.
- Zelda Gooberman: And there's a little pipsqueak of a sod just waitin' to get his arm broke. And I'm just the gal that can do it, or my name ain't Zelda Gooberman.