Trailer Park Boys (TV Series)

If I Can't Smoke and Swear. I'm Fucked (2003)

Robb Wells: Ricky

Quotes 

• Ricky : I'd like to make a request under the Peoples Freedom of Choices and Voices Act that I be able to smoke and swear in your courtroom.

• Bubbles : [Feigning innocence]  Why Corey and Trevor, that's highly illegal. You shouldn't be stealing gasoline, Corey and Trevor.

  Ricky : It's messed up to be stealing gasoline like Corey and Trevor did, and I don't want anything to do with Corey and Trevor's gas stealing.

• Ricky : Let's go, smokes.

  Prosecutor : But I've only got two left!

  Ricky : I don't care, you've been a dick all morning, it's the least you can do for me.

  Prosecutor : [Tossing smokes]  Oh, for the love of God!

  Judge : [Cops in the courtroom trying to smoke too]  Just the defendant, please!

• Ricky : My first order of business is to tell the prosecutor to shut the fuck up, and wipe that stupid fucking grin off his face cause it's distraculating my case.

• Ricky : Trinity, how many times does daddy need to tell you, you can't play with his handgun, okay?

  Trinity : You shouldn't leave it laying around!

• Ricky : [about their illegal gas station]  Unleaded, blue container. Supreme, red container. Diesel in the green. Okay, are we clear here, guys?

  Cory : Yeah, but how can you tell which is the Supreme?

  Ricky : What, are you stupid? You fuckin' taste it. Unleaded tastes a little tangy. Supreme is kinda sour, and diesel tastes pretty good.

• Ricky : [to judge]  Look, I can't speak without swearing. And I've only got my grade 10. And I haven't had a cigarette since I've been arrested. And I'm ready to fuckin' snap.