Quotes
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Christopher Titus : Denial is a powerful weapon. My dad taught me mind over matter. No matter how hurt I got, he didn't mind.
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Christopher Titus : We have to get our blood tested.
Dave Scouvel : What? Is something wrong with my sperm?
Christopher Titus : I'm sure of it.
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Christopher Titus : My dad thrives on fear. You know that bedtime prayer, "If I should die before I wake"? I had bed sheets that said that.
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Christopher Titus : Tommy's a hypochondriac. In fourth grade, he traded his lunch with another kid so he could get in the vaccination line twice.
[flashback]
Tommy Shafter : [lifting up his shirt] Feel this. I think it's a lump.
Christopher Titus : It's your nipple.
[Dave reaches out to touch it, but Titus slaps his hand away]
Christopher Titus : Turn the heat up.
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[first lines]
Christopher Titus : How far would you go for someone you love ? I heard this story, about this woman, who actually lifted a car off of her baby. 'Course I would have said, "Dude! Back up." But, wasn't my kid. When I was born, if I'd have known all the stuff my dad was going to do for me, I'd have crawled right back in.
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[last lines]
Christopher Titus : How far would you go for someone you love ? Well, when my grandkids ask me how I pledged my love to their grandma, I'll say, I told her I would die for her, after I found out I didn't have an incurable disease. Then, I ran away while grandma was getting her ass kicked by a pregnant woman that grandpa slept with. You never know when you're making a memory.
