Three's Company (TV Series)
And Mother Makes Four (1977)
Joyce DeWitt: Janet Wood
Photos
Quotes
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Jack Tripper : [referring to Chrissy] Everywhere you look, she's a girl.
Janet Wood : What am I, a gorilla?
Jack Tripper : No, no. You're very... bright.
Janet Wood : Oh. More like a chimp?
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Janet Wood : Have another beer.
Jack Tripper : No, I wanna go home to my own room to sleep in my own bed. I don't want another beer.
Barmaid : [ample cleavage] Would you like another beer?
Jack Tripper : [much enamored] Oh, yeah.
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Chrissy Snow : I've got an idea.
Jack Tripper : I want my own bed.
Janet Wood : You haven't even heard it yet.
Jack Tripper : [insists] I want my own bed.
Chrissy Snow : You can sleep in our room.
Jack Tripper : I...
[realizes, changes his tune:]
Jack Tripper : On the other hand, I don't wanna be unreasonable.
Chrissy Snow : [to Janet] We could sneak him in. My mother won't even know he's there.
Janet Wood : Him in the same room with us?
[frowns at Chrissy]
Janet Wood : And you in the same room with him?
Jack Tripper : Oh, for...
[rises]
Jack Tripper : I will be on my best behavior, honest.
[steers Chrissy on her way, then turns to Janet:]
Jack Tripper : Is the bed big enough for the three of us?
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Chrissy Snow : You can't sit here while we get undressed.
Jack Tripper : Oh, I'm sorry. Will the view be better if I stand?
[hiccups]
Janet Wood : Go cure your hiccups.
[shoos him out]
Jack Tripper : [goes to door, turns back] Whatever happened to the sexual revolution?
Chrissy Snow : Your side lost.
[chuckles merrily]
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Jack Tripper : [Janet's taking Jack to the Regal Beagle to avoid Chrissy's mother] Do I have to?
Janet Wood : You'll love it there - the beer's flat, but the barmaid's not.
Jack Tripper : [Heading for the door] Move 'em out.
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Janet Wood : [on the phone with Chrissy] What do you mean, your mother's staying? Where's Jack gonna sleep?
Chrissy Snow : Well, there's the bus station.
Janet Wood : The cops will pick him up!
Chrissy Snow : How about the 24 hour laundromat?
Janet Wood : [cynically] The hookers will pick him up.
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[first lines]
Chrissy Snow : Well, I put up the clean curtains.
Janet Wood : Oh, Chrissy...!
Chrissy Snow : I hope that Jack likes 'em.
Janet Wood : You're gonna spoil him.
Chrissy Snow : No, I'm not. I just think if he's coming to live here we ought to make him feel at home.
Janet Wood : Well, I did my bit. I put the toilet seat up.
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Janet Wood : [to Chrissy] Don't you have something to do?
Chrissy Snow : Oh! Yeah.
[turns towards Jack:]
Chrissy Snow : Come into the kitchen and show me what you've got.
Jack Tripper : [incredulously] Now?
Janet Wood : She, uh, she means the groceries.
[chuckles]
Jack Tripper : Oh. Yeah.
[chuckles]
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Chrissy Snow : Janet!
Janet Wood : What?
Chrissy Snow : That was my mother on the phone. She'll be here in a few minutes.
Janet Wood : What's she doing in L.A.?
Chrissy Snow : Oh, she wanna see her dentist. If she finds out, I mean, two girls living in an apartment with a man, you know what she'll think!
Jack Tripper : Oh, come on, Chrissy, people are doing it all over the place.
Chrissy Snow : That's what she'll think!
Janet Wood : Well, I... I thought that your father was the problem.
Jack Tripper : [to Chrissy] Your father's living with two girls?
