The Thin Blue Line (TV Series)

Rag Week (1995)

Rowan Atkinson: Inspector Raymond Fowler

Photos 

Quotes 

• Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : I weep for our country, I really do. Did you know 12 year olds in Holland and Belgium can already speak fluent English?

  Const. Kevin Goody : They're no cleverer than British children, Sir! My niece is only 10, and she can speak fluent English.

  Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : Your head is just something you keep your hat on, isn't it?

• Sgt. Patricia Dawkins : You're a bloody idiot! You know that, don't you? A bloody idiot!

  Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : Please, Sgt Dawkins, we are on duty. I'm not an idiot, I am your commanding officer. I'm only an idiot between 1 o'clock and 2 o'clock, after 6:30 and at weekends!

  Sgt. Patricia Dawkins : Well, I'm not on duty, so you are! An idiot, a pompous twit and a pain in the backside!

• Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : [after being reminded about going to to the bank]  No I won't forget, Patricia. Of course it would be easier to go now, and for that very reason the bank is closed, it being a basic principle of British banking that the customer is to be avoided at all costs.

• Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : I once possessed a whoopie cushion. I never deployed it, of course, but the capacity was there.

• Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : Goody, the criminals desire a pizza. Kindly order one.

  Const. Kevin Goody : What sort of pizza, sir?

  Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : I don't know, spicy gerbil flavored. Just get the pizza.

• Det. Insp. Derek Grim : I've talked to them, they won't budge. I've used all my negotiating skills.

  Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : You have all the negotiating skills of an embittered rottweiler. Your telephone manner is about as appealing as a pub toilet at closing time.

• Det. Insp. Derek Grim : Standard procedure, Fowler. We acquiesce to the government's demands, that way we win their trust.

  Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : Brilliant, Grim. We win their trust by buying them a pizza. Why it seems so simple, I wonder if the same tactics could work in Bosnia?

• Det. Insp. Derek Grim : They want a pizza. Detail your people to get them a pizza.

  Insp. Raymond C. Fowler : [sarcastically]  Of course, and perhaps a small selection of cupcakes?