- Michael Kelso: Wow, check out this new Police Academy they're sending me to in Waukegan. It's got its own pool! Oh, man, if I'd known it was gonna be this nice, I'd have burned down the old one a lot sooner!
- Fez: Kelso, I'm really going to miss you. Who's gonna take my lunch money, and tease me, and pull down my pants in front of girls...
- Steven Hyde: I'll be taking over.
- Pamela Burkhart: I'm just hoping that Jackie and I can figure out a way to get along.
- Kitty Forman: Well, you got your low-cut, getting-along sweater on, so... ha, ha, ha... I bet that'll help!
- Eric Forman: Oh, man, I can't believe Donna is serious about this celibacy thing. Fez, how do you cope with not getting any?
- Fez: I think you know how I cope. When you don't see me, I'm coping.
- Eric Forman: Remember me? I'm Eric Foreman.
- Pamela Burkhart: Oh, yeah, my cocker spaniel almost killed you when you were six...
- Eric Forman: Well, I was 13, but let's let bygones be bygones!
- Steven Hyde: Kelso, you leave for the police academy tomorrow. Shouldn't you be packing gasoline and matches so you can burn that one down too?
- Michael Kelso: I don't need gasoline to burn stuff down. All I need is these two hands and a lack of adult supervision.