- [Last lines]
- Donna Pinciotti: [while the rest of the gang are hanging out in the basement, Eric, Hyde and Fez all enter the basement looking beaten up] What the hell happened to you guys?
- Eric Forman: We got beaten up.
- Steven Hyde: By men.
- Eric Forman: By big, strong men.
- Fez: Hey, guys, as I was getting beaten I think I got to second base.
- Steven Hyde: School spirit is for losers, man. You're just, like, floating along on a conveyor belt of conformity. Like pep-rallies, extracurricular activities. washing your hair...
- Fez: Oh, we're locked in in a locker room. The irony is not lost on me! Why do you mock us fate, why?
- Michael Kelso: [gazing into Jackie's eyes] You're so pretty, you don't even need to know math!
- Jackie Burkhart: That's so funny! I was just thinking the same thing!
- Jackie Burkhart: [explaining to Donna why she's besotted with Kelso again] And when we look into each other's eyes, I know we're both thinking about the same thing!
- Donna Pinciotti: Your hair?
- Red Forman: You don't know they're having a party. Bob's out of work... they might be starting some weirdo church.
- Steven Hyde: Oh, damn! The janitor locked us in! No good deed goes unpunished.
- Eric Forman: How could this get any worse?
- Fez: OK, guys! We have 20 seconds until the cherry bomb I put in the toilet goes off.
- Red Forman: Wait, what are you saying, Kitty? You really wanted to go to this party!
- Kitty Forman: Stop it, Red!
- Red Forman: No, no, no, no, no. Now, you get in there and have yourself a good ol' naked time! Who knows, they might even play Twister! Could be fun!
- Jackie Burkhart: Michael, I have some bad news. I just found out I have "BHD".
- Michael Kelso: "BHD"?
- Jackie Burkhart: Yeah, "Brutal Hair Disease". I have to go to the hospital tomorrow and get all my hair shaved off.
- Michael Kelso: So, you'll be...
- Jackie Burkhart: Bald, Michael. B-A-L-D. No hair, shiny head, *bald*. And my hair... won't *ever* grow back, either. Will you still love me when I'm bald?
- Michael Kelso: You can wear a wig?
- Jackie Burkhart: So, Michael. Are you saying you would *not* love me if I didn't have a luscious, full-bodied head of hair?
- Michael Kelso: [sees Donna laughing at him and realizes he's being tested] *Oh*! No, Jackie, no! I would love you even *more*! I would shave off my hair and paste it to your head!
- Jackie Burkhart: Michael, that's beautiful!
- [leaves]
- Michael Kelso: [to Donna] That was a test, right? 'Cause bald chicks are gross.