- Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Eric] If I find one beer can in that car, it's over.
- Kitty Forman: And no donuts, either.
- [Red looks at Kitty, puzzled]
- Kitty Forman: Ants.
- Bob Pinciotti: Red, a Toyota?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Yeah, it's mine. I tell you, the last time I was that close to a Japanese machine, it was shooting at me.
- Michael Kelso: That's Fez. He's a foreign exchange student.
- Jackie Burkhart: Who did we exchange for him?
- [to Hyde]
- Fez: I might not say this right because I am new to English, but she has tremendous breasts, yes?
- Steven Hyde: [the first circle] Is Red still thinking of giving you the car, man?
- Michael Kelso: Even if we do get it, we're gonna need serious gas money because the Cruiser's a boat.
- Eric Forman: I know the Cruiser's a boat. This whole gas shortage bites!
- Fez: Who's getting a boat?
- Steven Hyde: There's no such thing as a gas shortage, man! Its all fake! The oil companies control everything! Like, I heard about this guy who invented a car that runs on water, man! It's got a fiberglass, air-cooled engine and it runs on water!
- Fez: So, it is a boat?
- Steven Hyde: No! It's a car, only you put water in the tank instead of gas!
- Michael Kelso: [laughing] I haven't heard of this car. Hey, Jackie's good for gas money!
- Eric Forman: You are such a whore!
- Fez: When does the boat get here, whore?
- Donna Pinciotti: Eric, relax. We've lived next door to each other forever. You could've had me when I was four.
- Eric Forman: Really? And there I was all day long on the Hippity Hop.
- [First scene of the series: May 17, 1976. 8:47 p.m. The gang is in Forman's basement]
- Steven Hyde: Eric, it is time.
- Eric Forman: Why don't you do it?
- Steven Hyde: It's your house.
- Michael Kelso: *Your* house!
- Steven Hyde: [points upward] Listen to them up there. The party has reached critical mass. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.
- Eric Forman: If my Dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me!
- Steven Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.
- Michael Kelso: Don't worry about it! Just remain calm, keep moving...
- Donna Pinciotti: And, above all, don't get sucked into my Dad's hair.
- Eric Forman: What's wrong with your Dad's hair?
- Donna Pinciotti: Just don't look at it.
- Steven Hyde: [grabs Eric's face] And, Eric: cold. Definitely cold.
- [Eric nods. Hyde pats him on the shoulder. Eric begins to run up the stairs. He pauses, looks back down, and continues]
- Kitty Forman: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Out of town.
- Kitty Forman: How do you know?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: I told them not to.
- Donna Pinciotti: Oh, have I told you how incredibly attractive you are, Eric?
- Eric Forman: No.
- Michael Kelso: You told me he was cute.
- Donna Pinciotti: No, I didn't.
- Michael Kelso: I remember, because you said not to say anything in front of Eric.
- [Eric's car battery is dead]
- Randy: So, what? You want a battery? 'Cause I can get you a battery.
- Eric Forman: Are they cheap, or possibly free?
- Randy: Thirty-two bucks, minimum.
- Michael Kelso: All right, I'll tell you what. We'll trade you our battery, plus five bucks, for one of your batteries.
- Jackie Burkhart: Michael! Don't tell our private conversations to other people, Michael! We have to have our own private conversations!