That '70s Show (TV Series)

Join Together (2003)

Ashton Kutcher: Michael Kelso

Quotes 

• [Kelso is talking with Hyde, trying to make him reconcile with Jackie] 

  Michael Kelso : Look, Hyde, I know you don't wanna tell Jackie that you're sorry, but... there's gotta be some things that you did that you wish you hadn't done. Like that time that you told me to eat that stuff, and I didn't know what it was, and then you licked your lips and you rubbed you stomach, and you were like, "Mmm, it's really good, Kelso". And then I ate it and then I wished I hadn't have done that.

  Steven Hyde : Yeah... well, maybe with Jackie I was sort of impetuous and maybe a little rash.

  Michael Kelso : [nods]  Now, see, that's something that Jackie oughta know.

  [some time later] 

  Michael Kelso : Hyde says that he was sort of infectious and he has a rash.

  Jackie Burkhart : [confused]  What?

  Michael Kelso : I'm just telling you what he said.

  Jackie Burkhart : Alright. Look, Michael, Steven's the one who messed up the relationship. He thought you and I were together, but he was just wrong. He fabricated the whole mess.

  Michael Kelso : Well, somebody ought to make that clear.

  [some time later] 

  Michael Kelso : Jackie wants you to know that there was a mess 'cause she was wearing the wrong fabric.

  Steven Hyde : [confused]  That can't be what she said.

  Michael Kelso : It's word for word, man.

  Steven Hyde : Kelso, would you get outta here?

  Michael Kelso : What? I'm helping.

  Steven Hyde : You're making me wanna kick your ass!

  Michael Kelso : [angrily]  That better be the rash talking!

  [Kelso leaves. Hyde throws the basketball at his back]