That '70s Show (TV Series)

Gimme Shelter (2005)

Ashton Kutcher: Michael Kelso

Quotes 

• Jackie Burkhart : Oh, everything is set for the party tonight! Oh, and Fez, I need you to get there a little early so you can park everyone's cars.

  Fez : Sorry, Jackie, I can't make it.

  Jackie Burkhart : What?

  Fez : Yeah. Kelso and I have to find an apartment tonight, or Red is going to kill me in my sleep.

  Michael Kelso : Yeah, and I can't let Fez go alone.

  Jackie Burkhart : Why not?

  Michael Kelso : 'Cause then I'll have to go to your party, which I don't want to do.

  Steven Hyde : Oh, no, no. Kelso, you have to go. If you're not there, and Fez is not there, it's gonna be pretty damn obvious that I'm not there.

  Jackie Burkhart : Okay, Steven. I understand you don't like dinner parties, but just let me make my case.

  [Jackie kicks Hyde's ankle] 

  Steven Hyde : [winces painfully]  Ohh!

  Jackie Burkhart : [firmly]  You're going!

• Michael Kelso : We found one place yesterday that was perfect, but we can't get it 'cause Fez and the landlord are having a feud.

  Reginald "Red" Forman : Well, you're not spending another night under my roof. So, come on. We're gonna have a chat with this landlord. What's this guy got against you anyway?

  Fez : I don't know. That's like asking you why you hate commies. You don't know why. You just do.

  Reginald "Red" Forman : I know exactly why I hate commies. They wouldn't stop shooting at me!