- Leo: Ok, guys. I don't have any beer. I hate alcohol and I won't have it in my house. So, we're gonna have to drink sake instead.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Kitty, where're the Band-Aids? I cut my thumb with a hacksaw.
- Kitty Forman: Red, you know those things are dangerous.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Well, I tried cutting a metal pipe with a flower, but it was real slow going.
- [Leo is giving Eric a tattoo on his butt]
- Leo: Dude, Debbie is gonna be real happy about this.
- Eric Forman: Who's Debbie?
- Leo: Hello? Your girlfriend, Debbie? Jesus...
- Eric Forman: Leo, her name is Donna.
- Leo: Oh. I can fix that.
- Donna Pinciotti: Did you read my diary? I won't get mad if you did.
- Eric Forman: [cautious] Yes.
- Donna Pinciotti: You sneaky little dillhole!
- [Kelso is talking in his sleep. Jackie is listening]
- Michael Kelso: This isn't going to work, Jackie.
- Jackie Burkhart: Us, Michael? Are we not going to work?
- Michael Kelso: [still sleeping] No. The car. The carburetor is busted.
- Jackie Burkhart: [annoyed] This was all because of a stupid car?
- Michael Kelso: [still sleeping] We're gonna have to take the bus to our wedding.
- [Jackie smiles happily, thinking that Kelso means her]
- Jackie Burkhart: Our wedding? Oh Michael, that is so sweet! I love you, Michael Kelso.
- Michael Kelso: [still sleeping] I love you too, Jackie Onassis.
- [Jackie's smile immediately fades]