That '70s Show (TV Series)
Eric's Burger Job (1998)
Topher Grace: Eric Forman
Photos
Quotes
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Ricky : Why do you want a career at Fatso Burger?
Eric : I think it will be a wonderful experience.
Michael Kelso : My girlfriend's dad owns it.
Fez : I love the uniforms.
Steven Hyde : To unite the workers, man.
Ricky : What do you consider to be your best quality?
Eric : I'm a real people person.
Steven Hyde : I don't answer stupid questions.
Fez : I speak Dutch.
Michael Kelso : My eyes. Oh, and I guess my butt, too.
Ricky : Name something about yourself that is a weakness.
Eric : I allow people to boss me around.
Fez : I love chocolate.
Steven Hyde : I'm brutally honest. Pinhead.
Michael Kelso : Um...
[falls backward in chair]
Ricky : Where do you see yourself in five years?
Eric : Fatso Burger.
Fez : Covered in gold chains.
Michael Kelso : Rock star. No, movie star. No, yeah, rock star.
Steven Hyde : Prison.
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Eric : Hey, would you guys respect me if I got a job at the town dump?
Donna Pinciotti : Town dump, no. State dump?... Why are you getting a job, anyway?
Eric : Everything costs money. Gas, clothes, fun...
Michael Kelso : Dates. Dates cost money.
Fez : No, Kelso. That is prostitution.
Steven Hyde : Dates *are* prostitution, man, except you don't always get what you paid for.
Donna Pinciotti : Says the man who's never had a girlfriend.
Steven Hyde : Hey, you guys remember Andrea, the biker chick?
Eric : Whatever happened to her?
Steven Hyde : [proud] She's dating my uncle.
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Jackie Burkhart : Wait. So, your parents are going to be out of town?
Donna Pinciotti : Yeah. It's just going to be me alone Saturday. Well, I'm babysitting my sister, Tina. I'll watch some TV, maybe order a pizza.
Michael Kelso : Let's have a party! A toga party!
Jackie Burkhart : Michael, maybe she doesn't want to have a party. Maybe she wants to be alone.
Donna Pinciotti : Well, it'd just be me, but if someone happens to come by, that'll be cool.
Michael Kelso : So, we're on! I'll bring the beer!
Fez : Donna, I've never been to an American party. May I come?
Donna Pinciotti : I don't care. So, Eric, will you be there?
Eric : Eric:
[not looking up from the newspaper]
Eric : Yeah, sure.
Jackie Burkhart : [Donna leaves the basement and Jackie smacks Eric and Kelso across the backs of their heads] You are both so stupid!
Steven Hyde : That's a first! I actually agree with Jackie!
[to Eric]
Steven Hyde : She totally put on a full court press, man, and you dropped the ball!
Eric : What are you talking about? All she said was, she's going to be alone Saturday, order a pizza... Oh, my God, I'm so stupid!
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Steven Hyde : Hello, my minimum wage friend. I demand service.
Eric : Welcome to Fatso Burger. How may I serve you?
Steven Hyde : That is so sad, Burger Boy!
Michael Kelso : Jackie, I've been wracking my brain trying to think of why this guy didn't hire me.
Jackie Burkhart : Michael, I'm so sick of hearing this. You've still got me.
Michael Kelso : I'm good looking and he's jealous! This body's a curse!
Jackie Burkhart : If you worked, you wouldn't be able to see me whenever I wanted, lover.
[They kiss]
Fez : Please! Stop touching! It gives me needs.
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Eric : Dad, I'm quitting my job.
Reginald "Red" Forman : You're quitting?
Eric : I'm quitting. I'm a quitter and I couldn't hit a cow over the head with a hammer.
Reginald "Red" Forman : Everybody quits their first job. It's no big deal.
Eric : I gotta say I'm a little disappointed, Dad.
Reginald "Red" Forman : It wasn't a man's job, anyway.
Kitty Forman : Red...
Reginald "Red" Forman : Come on, Kitty! It wasn't a man's job! It was a hairnet, name tag, nothing kind of a job.
Eric : Well, I'm quitting.
Reginald "Red" Forman : It's a good thing, too. It was cutting into your chores. You did a half-assed job on that driveway.
Kitty Forman : I think he did a wonderful job.
Reginald "Red" Forman : [not looking up from his newspaper] Didn't look wonderful to me.
Kitty Forman : [Stands up, feeling upset because Red's unaware that she did the chores] Sweep it yourself, then!
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[Practicing for a job interview]
Reginald "Red" Forman : Stand up straight.
Eric : [shaking his hand] Hello, I'm Eric Forman.
Reginald "Red" Forman : Not loose, firm! Not sloppy, like a fish. Try it again.
Eric : [shaking his hand] Hello, I'm Eric Forman.
Reginald "Red" Forman : Bend into it.
Eric : Stand up straight and hold a fish.
Reginald "Red" Forman : Don't be a smart-mouth.
Eric : Okay.
[shaking his hand]
Eric : Hello, I'm Eric Forman.
Reginald "Red" Forman : And?
Eric : And?
Kitty Forman : Maybe you could mention your Junior Achievement experience.
Reginald "Red" Forman : Kitty, they could give a rat's ass about that.
Kitty Forman : Maybe your Honorable Mention for the science award.
Reginald "Red" Forman : Kitty?
Kitty Forman : Right. Rat's ass.
Reginald "Red" Forman : Don't slouch.
Eric : Wouldn't that go under the "stand up straight" category?
Reginald "Red" Forman : See, that's a smart-mouth comment. You're fired, Mr. Smart Mouth! That's how that works.