- Eric Forman: ALL DAY? I can't spend all day in here, I'll turn out like HIM!
- [indicating Fenton]
- Fenton: You're not as far away as you think!
- Fenton: [to Donna, after Eric storms out] Men! Can't live with 'em... Well, you CAN, but you have to be quiet about it!
- Kitty Forman: [Referring to her romance novels] They're not dirty, they're ROMANTIC!
- Red Forman: [Reads the title] "Mutiny from Behind"...?
- Fez: [Surprises Red reading Kitty's erotic novel] So, you like those books too, Mr. Red?
- Red Forman: Alright, so you know the truth! But, I swear by God, if you tell ANYONE, I will CHOP DOWN whatever tree you live in!