Tales from the Crypt (TV Series) Staired in Horror (1994) User Reviews

A sexy -albeit bloodless- entry in a great series!

[melvelvit-1 · 8/10 · 4 July 2014]

Having just polished off the last 8 episodes of HBO's TALES FROM THE CRYPT Season 6, I have to say the best by far was "Staired In Horror", which opens with a murderer being chased through the bayou by a sheriff and his dogs until he comes upon an antebellum mansion where an old crone takes him in. He thinks he finds an easy mark but the tables turn when it's revealed the lady of the house was once the wife of a Confederate soldier who came home and found her in bed with a young lover. He killed the guy and his wife killed him but not before the cuckold placed a curse on her, warning the adulteress that no young man will ever mount the stairs to her room again and the reverse goes for her: when she descends the stairs, she ages and when a man mounts them, he does too. Over time, the lady discovered a loophole in the Reb's malediction -if they meet in the middle of the staircase, the woman, still young, can have hot sex with a young guy which she proceeds to do whenever she gets the chance...

There's a neat twist ending to this clever little terror tale which was a lot more "adult" than one would expect from a kid's comic book (originally published in "Vault Of Horror" back in the '50s). I was quite taken with the Cryptkeeper's fable despite the fact it's a bloodless episode and I still think about it every now and then. I always thought D.B. Sweeney was that guy who parachuted from a plane with a satchel full of cash never to be seen again but he's an actor, and a handsome one at that.

Nice slice of Southern Gothic episode

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 21 September 2012]

Fugitive Clyde (well played with rascally charm by D.B. Sweeney) is on the lam from an angry mob. He seeks refuge in a decrepit mansion owned by an elderly woman. Unbeknownst to Clyde, said creepy abode has an unusual curse attached to it. Director Stephen Hopkins, working from a flavorsome script by Teller and Colman deKay, relates the entertaining story at a snappy pace, offers a vivid evocation of the Deep South backwoods setting, and completely nails the pungently brooding downhome Southern Gothic atmosphere. Moreover, Rachel Ticotin excels in the juicy dual roles of both an ugly old crone -- kudos also to the make-up artists for the remarkable old age make-up -- and a much more attractive younger gal. The always reliable R. Lee Ermey contributes a lively turn as a good ol' boy sheriff. The ironic conclusion is quite satisfying. Rick Bota's stylish cinematography provides a dusky golden-hued look. Jay Ferguson's twangy score hits the harmonic spot. A neat show.

Staired in Horror

[bobcobb301 · 7/10 · 12 May 2018]

The idea of a curse based on aging that comes and goes due to stairs is a little ridiculous, but if you can put that aside this was a solid show.

It was a real moral quandary and in the end it proved that crime doesn't pay with him avoiding justice by becoming a near dead shell of himself and unable to be rescued by a baby.

Justice always comes through. A good lesson in an okay episode.

Staired In Horror

[a_baron · 7/10 · 23 August 2015]

A ruthless killer is on the run, and hard on his heels are officers of the law with a tracker dog. He turns up at an isolated house, the sole inhabitant of which is a woman who is so old she might have come out of the Ark. Spinning her a tall tale, he convinces her to hide him, which she does even when the truth becomes apparent. And how does he show his gratitude?

Well, at one point he is about to murder her, but she talks him out of it and goes upstairs where she is replaced by a beautiful young woman. This is where the real problems start, because she cannot come down the stairs and he cannot ascend them, not without something bizarre and horrible happening. They decide to meet halfway, but at this point the posse returns and he is forced to ascend the stairs anyway. What happens next is not a pleasant sight, but most people will agree it couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Good episode, but the ending...

[bellino-angelo2014 · 5/10 · 10 July 2021]

Clyde Beaudreaux (D. B. Sweeney) is a fugitive from the law that runs in the woods. After a pratfall, he arrives to an old house and the old lady who lives there is gentle enough to hide him in the house. When the old lady goes again upstairs, Clyde notices that she is a young gorgeous black woman but when she goes again downstairs she becomes again an old lady. Lillian Charbonnet explains her house's scary secret. During the civil War she was married to a Confederate soldier that when he returned home found her in bed with her lover and before Lillian shot the husband in retaliation he put a curse on the stair that no young man will ever mount the stairs to her room again and she has the reverse effect: when she goes down the stairs she ages, and when someone mounts them he ages as well. Clyde suggests Lillian that they could stay at half the stairway so they could be eternally young, but their peace is interrupted by the arrival of the sheriff and his dog. Lillian tells Clyde to go upstairs and when the dog tries to go upstairs he stars aging but escapes just in time. And now, the shocking twist; when the sheriff arrived in the house Clyde went upstairs to the attic and he became old to the point of barely even move, and after two minutes of this scene we see that Lillian has arrived to the attic too and she has become a baby and can't help him anymore.

Up until to the sheriff's arrival I was liking the episode and was even giving it a 7. However, when I saw the ending I kinda felt depressed because Clyde was nearly to the point of death and Lillian was at the very start of her life (and I didn't believed the Crypt Keeper's guess that Clyde may have crawled downstairs and would have returned young and then Lillian would have done the same and they lived forever halfway in the staircase). Not a good episode but a bit messy thanks to a bad ending probably written by a mandrill (and an untalented one at that!).

OK Tales from the Crypt episode.

[poolandrews · 5/10 · 28 June 2008]

Tales from the Crypt: Staired in Horror starts late one night as wanted thief & murderer Clyde Woodrow (D.B. Sweeney) tricks his way into elderly woman Charbonnet's (Rachel Ticotin) house while on the run from the local Sheriff (R. Lee Emery) & his men. Clyde sees an old defenceless woman whom he can steal from & use to make good his escape from the law, however the house has a terrible secret that will ultimately be his undoing...

This Tales from the Crypt story was episode 9 from season 6, directed by Stephen Hopkins this is probably the worst of the three episodes he directed the others being the great Beauty Rest (1992) from season four & the excellent Abra Cadaver (1991) from season three. The script was written by Colman deKay & bizarrely Teller from Penn and Teller extreme comedy magic routine 'fame' & was based on a story from 'The Vault of Horror' comic book, one has to say that while Staired in Horror is a pleasant enough way to pass twenty five minutes if you like the show or short horror anthology in general there's nothing overly special about it. The story feels a little flat, the whole curse placed on the stairwell in the house is quite cool but not much is done with it & the ironic ending with the bad guy Clyde becoming what he hates the most feels a little routine & predictable. I mean it's just another 'just desserts' type ending isn't it? The whole episode takes place in the same house, there's no variety to it, the whole episode is basically a build up to the twist ending which you can see coming before it happens & the whole episode is just underwhelming & a bit disappointing although by the middle of season six Tales from the Crypt as a series was getting stale & most of the good source material had been used.

As already mentioned the entire episode takes place in a single house, the set is very good with lots of detail & the whole thing is lit with a warm yellow tint from both the moon light coming in through the windows & candles burning in the house. It looks nice enough anyway. The gore levels are none existent, there are some good old age make-up prosthetics but not a single drop of blood in the entire episode. Another aspect of Staired in Horror which makes it a bit routine is that it's not scary & there's no atmosphere, there's no real horror in it, there's no blood or gore, it's not funny or amusing & despite some moody photography it feels flat like the production team didn't quite know how to play it. An experienced set of actor's do a decent job here especially distinctive character actor R. Lee Emery whose recent works include The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) remake & it's sequel The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006).

Staired in Horror is an average Tales from the Crypt episode, by the time season six was airing it had become clear the show wasn't what it once was but this is still perfectly watchable at least if rather uninspiring.