- Jack O'Neill: I'm back to bein' myself. Just open up.
- Teal'c: I cannot be certain you are back to being yourself. You referred to me as "Lucy".
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: [about Sam] She, uh, she tried to seduce me.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh. You poor man.
- [upon seeing a diseased Daniel flirting with a girl whom has the same disease]
- Jack O'Neill: Daniel, you dog. You keep this up, you'll have a girl on every planet.
- Dr. Janet Fraiser: So, the question is, why haven't you and Mr. Teal'c come down with the symptoms?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Um, Mr. Teal'c... Teal'c's symbiote probably protects him.
- Teal'c: That would be likely.
- Dr. Janet Fraiser: W-What about you, Dr. Jackson?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, that beats me. You're the doctor, Doctor. Ah, maybe I have a natural immunity.
- Teal'c: Perhaps you will develop symptoms later.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Thank you for the moral support.
- Colonel Makepeace: Don't you worry, boys. That's why the SG-3 Marines are comin' with. You can count on us to watch your backsides.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Actually, it's - it's more my frontside I was worried about.
- [O'Neill hands Daniel night-vision goggles]
- Jack O'Neill: Put these on.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Doesn't look like my prescription.
- [in a large extravagant room with big bull heads]
- Jack O'Neill: Love what they've done with the place.
- Captain Samantha Carter: I was gonna do my living room like this, but, it didn't go with my other stuff.
- Major General George Hammond: Captain Carter's computer model has thus far extrapolated only one set of symbols from the Abydos cartouche that contains these three glyphs.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Let me guess; that's where we're going.
- Major General George Hammond: Very good, Colonel.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Thank you, sir. I pride myself on my deductive reasoning skills.
- Major General George Hammond: [On the phone with the President, telling him that the SGC has become infected with a dangerous off-world virus] I recommend that anyone attempting to leave the mountain be shot on sight and their body be burned.
- Captain Samantha Carter: Sir?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Yeah?
- Captain Samantha Carter: About my earlier behavior... I wasn't myself.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh, Carter, I don't even remember your earlier behavior.
- Captain Samantha Carter: You don't?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: No. I was infected too. Remember?
- Captain Samantha Carter: Right. Good. I'm glad.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: By the way, how's the wound?
- Captain Samantha Carter: Wound?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: I understand you got stabbed in the stomach.
- Captain Samantha Carter: Oh! Yeah, it's nothing. With any luck there won't even be a scar.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Good. I was concerned.
- Captain Samantha Carter: You were?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Sure. If it doesn't heal properly, you'll never wear... that sweet little tank top number again.